China -- History -- 20th century -- Fiction; Missionaries, Medical -- Fiction
"Perhaps you believe us incapable of such moments. I am quite sure
you do. You have never seen our young men poring over stories whose
sentiments would seem very startling to you. I don't know why I say
our young men; our old men also. I could tell you of an officer of
mine who spends all his pay buying costly medicines from Szechuen, so
that his father, who is a very old man, may enjoy the society of a
young wife. Have you read any of our poetry, Miss Davis? Do you
understand our music? Have you seen paintings of women walking among
fruit trees, in which the fruit trees seem like women and the women
like fruit trees? Do you know that there has never existed a people
more purely artist and therefore more purely lover than the Chinese?
The fact is that it was to protect themselves from the excesses of
their own temperaments that our earliest ancestors patiently and
laboriously fortified themselves by a submission to ritual and
authority. Of course we still retain excesses, being civilized, but
our excesses are even now those they long ago decided to allow us.
Yes, we are completely enmeshed, Miss Davis, like caterpillars in
cocoons. I know that we seem very dull to you, because we no longer
depend on a personal inspiration. But you must remember that the
personal inspiration is apt to be dull to every one but to him who
feels it. He, of course, is carried away by the intoxication of
supposing he has created something. But because we refuse to be
carried away by it or to depend on it, you must not imagine that we
do not think with any profundity--nor feel with any passion."
"Why do you tell me this? Is it really necessary that you explain
everything to me, even your occasional moments?"
Megan spoke sharply and she hoped indifferently, but her face was
flushed.
"Simply to show you how unaware you are of so many of the fundamental
impulses of people around you. Those," he added gently, "whom you
wish to help, to change. But don't be offended with me, Miss Davis.
It is true that my admiration for you is enormous, and it is true
also that I detest a lapse from suitability, a vulgar action. I
would never do anything unworthy of either of us."
"No," said Megan, "I feel sure you wouldn't. Now don't let us talk
any more about it."
"Certainly not if you find it so objectionable. But I wish you
didn't. It is very trying never to be able to approach you as one
human being to another. Because I see clearly I am not really a
human being to you, simply a problem, an object of attack, and
impersonal attack at that. Perhaps no one about you is entirely real
to you yet. You are too young, you have lived too little. And
because I am an alien I am even more remote than the others."
"I'm not too young," said Megan indignantly. "I have lived much more
than you think, and I have had disillusionments and disappointments."
The General smiled. "Not really? Why even your voice is unbruised."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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