his hand and shed tears. He asked her what ailed her and she said, “O my son, look at my boy who standeth yonder. He was ill and exposed himself to the air, which injured his intellect. He used to buy asses and now, if he stand he saith nothing but, My ass! if he sit he crieth, My ass! and if he walk he crieth, My ass! Now I have been told by a certain physician that his mind is disordered and that nothing will cure him but drawing two of his grinders and cauterising him twice on either temple. So do thou take this dinar and call him to thee, saying, ‘Thine ass is with me.’” Said the barber, “May I fast for a year, if I do not give him his ass in his fist!” Now he had with him two journeymen, so he said to one of them “Go, heat the irons.” Then the old woman went her way and the barber called to the donkey-boy,[FN#202] saying, “Thine ass is with me, good fellow! come and take him, and as thou livest, I will give him into thy palm.” So he came to him and the barber carried him into a dark room, where he knocked him down and the journeymen bound him hand and foot. Then the Maghrabi arose and pulled out two of his grinders and fired him on either temple; after which he let him go, and he rose and said, “O Moor, why hast thou used me with this usage?” Quoth the barber, “Thy mother told me that thou hadst taken cold whilst ill, and hadst lost thy reason, so that, whether sitting or standing or walking, thou wouldst say nothing but My ass! So here is thine ass in thy fist.” Said the other, “Allah requite thee for pulling out my teeth.” Then the barber told him all that the old woman had related and he exclaimed, “Allah torment her!”; and the twain left the shop and went out, disputing. When the barber returned, he found his booth empty, for, whilst he was absent, the old woman had taken all that was therein and made off with it to her daughter, whom she acquainted with all that had befallen and all she had done. The barber, seeing his place plundered, caught hold of the donkey-boy and said to him, “Bring me thy mother.” But he answered, saying, “She is not my mother; she is a sharper who hath cozened much people and stolen my ass.” And lo! at this moment up came the dyer and the Jew and the young merchant, and seeing the Moorish barber holding on to the ass-driver who was fired on both temples, they said to him, “What hath befallen thee, O donkey-boy?” So he told them all that had betided him and the barber did the like; and the others in turn related to the Moor the tricks the old woman had played them. Then he shut up his shop and went with them to the office of the Police-master to whom they said, “We look to thee for our case and our coin.”[FN#203] Quoth the Wali, “And how many old women are there not in Baghdad! Say me, doth any of you know her?” Quoth the ass-man, “I do; so give me ten of thine officers.” He gave them half a score archers and they all five went out, followed by the sergeants, and patrolled the city, till they