The Brass Bottle: A Farcical Fantastic Play in Four ActsAnstey, F.
Science
The Brass Bottle: A Farcical Fantastic Play in Four Acts
Anstey, F.
Fantasy drama; Jinn -- Drama
It may be so. [_He approaches THE MULE and addresses it._] O thou of
remarkable attainments, whom I have caused to assume the shape of this
mule, speak, I command thee, and say if thou wilt restore my stopper.
THE MULE.
[_Laying back its ears and showing its teeth._] I'll see you damned first!
[_General sensation._
MRS. FUTVOYE.
[_Going towards THE MULE in distress._] Oh! he wouldn't be so obstinate
if he wasn't a mule!
FAKRASH.
[_To THE MULE._] Thou art trifling with my safety and thine own! Reveal
unto me the spot in which thou hast hidden the stopper and delay not--for
it will be no difficult undertaking to transform these women of thine into
mules like thyself.
[_Horror of MRS. FUTVOYE and
SYLVIA, _and despair and rage of
HORACE, who rises and rushes
towards FAKRASH.
THE MULE.
You can _do_ it for all _I_ care----!
MRS. FUTVOYE.
Oh, Anthony!
THE MULE.
We shall at least be a more united family than we are now!
MRS. FUTVOYE.
[_Frantically._] Anthony! Don't provoke him! Think of _others_!
FAKRASH.
[_With some anxiety._] Hearken! I am disposed to show thee indulgence.
Obey,--and I will restore thee to what thou wert.
THE MULE.
Why couldn't you say so before? I'll accept _those_ terms, as there's no
alternative. Only--[_with his head on one side reflectively_]--I can't for
the life of me recollect what I _did_ with that seal. Tut-tut!
MRS. FUTVOYE.
Oh, Anthony! Think! Think!
[_General suspense and excitement._
THE MULE.
[_Irritably._] I _am_ thinking, Sophia! [_After further reflection._] Ah! I
remember now! I put it inside one of the vases on the mantelpiece, for
safety.
[HORACE looks aimlessly under the
table and sofa; MRS. FUTVOYE,
SYLVIA, and PRINGLE rush to the
fireplace and search the vases._
MRS. FUTVOYE AND SYLVIA.
[_Turning vases upside down._] Which? Which? No. It's not _there_! It's not
_here._
PRINGLE.
[_As he finds the metal cap in the last vase._] I've got it! [_Going to
FAKRASH, and presenting it._] Allow me, sir.
[_FAKRASH snatches it eagerly.
PRINGLE goes up to THE MULE and
reassures it, MRS. FUTVOYE
accompanying him._
FAKRASH.
[_Gloating over the cap._] It is indeed my stopper! Now shall I be secure
from disturbance!
HORACE.
[_Going to FAKRASH, seizing his arm, and drawing him to the right; then,
in an undertone._] Pitch into me afterwards if you like--but listen now.
You _must_ keep _your_ side of the bargain!
FAKRASH.
[_Coldly._] What _I_ have promised I perform.
HORACE.
[_Relieved._] Ah, I _knew_ you were a good old sort--at bottom. And--I
say--_do_ make them understand that _I've_ had nothing to do with all
this.
FAKRASH.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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