Courage -- Fiction; Cowardice -- Fiction; Fathers and sons -- Fiction; Science fiction; Short stories; Space ships -- Fiction
"Steady on your course, ICARUS!" This was the crisp instruction on the
audio-visor.
Caliban rushed toward them, but all space between was a twisting,
writhing spectrum of color. Dirk's mind was a pinwheel, spinning in
reckless abandon toward oblivion. He couldn't keep his eyes open.
He was sick. Really sick. A sob tore through his clenched teeth. He
slumped over the controls.
"Lieutenant!" That was Allen's voice, and then, something shoved him
to the floor. There was a wrenching, tearing of metal, and a sickening
lurch. Resolutely, Dirk kept his eyes tight shut against what he might
see when he opened them.
There was a murmur of voices--Kennedy, Allen, Tabor--and then,
gradually, a deceleration as the ship settled into Caliban's atmosphere.
It had happened again--only not in an isolated training ship with a
fish-faced instructor, but before the entire Armada. They all knew now,
and Dirk was almost relieved. It was as if he had relinquished a role
that he had been ill-suited to play.
"Lieutenant Jemson," a voice said close to his ear. "Lieutenant are you
all right?" It was Tabor, the biophysicist.
Dirk opened his eyes. Allen and Kennedy were at the controls. The
cruiser was settling on its tail for a landing. Tabor's face was a
study in embarrassed concern.
Dirk nodded. He must say something. "Sure. Sure. I'm all right. Anyone
else hurt?"
Tabor shook his head. "We sheared a fin off the flagship, but no one
was injured. What happened to you?"
Dirk closed his eyes again. What answer could he give? "Just space
dizziness," he said. "That's all. Space dizziness." He looked to catch
Tabor's reaction.
The scientist nodded, but behind his eyes was a puzzlement. Space
dizziness in a lieutenant of the Federation's space armada? Space
dizziness in the son of Commandant Jemson?
"All clear." Allen and Kennedy were scrupulously avoiding his eyes,
busying themselves with the reports and logs.
Suddenly, he wished that he could make them understand. He wished that
there were words which would communicate to them the sinking feeling
that had seized him as he gazed into the visi-shield. But there were no
words. These were men inured to space. They could not appreciate the
shattering malady that gripped him.
* * * * *
Tabor rose and moved over to the others. They conversed quietly, and
once or twice, Dirk saw them nod in his direction. Then he closed his
eyes again. It was better that way. Soon enough he would have to face
his father. And what could be said? There were no excuses. He had
failed. If Allen had not been quick, the ICARUS would have been lost;
perhaps the entire Armada jeopardized. No. There was no excuse.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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