American fiction -- 20th century; Chicago (Ill.) -- Fiction; Journalists -- Fiction; Marriage -- Fiction
Half ashamed of the thrill which he got out of this sight, he crossed to
the building on the lake front which must be the Art Institute. But he
found its pictures dull in comparison with the one he had left outside.
He went back to the street, and sniffed eagerly at the wind from off the
lake. He was experiencing a curious emotional release in the presence of
its vastness. Not only himself, but Chicago, suddenly seemed small at
its side. A city perched on the edge of a huge inland sea!
And then, convinced that his mood was an unrealistic one, he took the
south side elevated to the stockyards.... In its gruesome realities he
would find an antidote to this romanticism.
He was one of a long queue of visitors who were led from one building to
another and lectured at and shown the sights. After an hour he had seen
nothing sufficiently gruesome to be exciting, and he was becoming
annoyed with his fellow-visitors. They stared at the workers with a kind
of dull unimaginative pity. Felix resented those stares. He felt that he
understood these workers; had he not been one of them himself in factory
days at Port Royal! There was something indecent in this gaping and
pointing. He dropped out of line and went away.
He had missed the great scene, still to come—the cattle-killing. But he
reflected that he was a butcher’s son. This was merely a slaughter-house
on a grand scale. He had nothing new to learn from the stockyards....
2
But he was inevitably depressed by his day of confused sight-seeing; the
hugeness of the city had in the end made him feel useless and helpless.
It was a relief to meet again at dinner the pleasant men and women
residents of Community House who had been so gracious to him the evening
before.
His shyness had lifted sufficiently the previous evening to let him
engage in a lively argument. There had been something very gratifying to
him in the way they listened to what he said—without agreement, to be
sure, but on terms of interested equality. It had made him feel at home;
and it was only afterward, in his room, that he had realized the duty of
guarding himself against these easy reassurances. He told himself that
these people were all engaged in trying to obscure the grim realities of
life. But he must not let himself be deceived. Their friendliness was
well-meant; but it had to be discounted.... It was all too well
calculated to soothe a bruised egotism, to relax a mood of stern
self-abasement—to make an impressionable young man forget that he was a
mere unconsidered atom in a cruel chaos. This easy hospitality could not
be the truth about Chicago. It was a mask, behind which the real Chicago
hid its terrible, grim face....
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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