American fiction -- 20th century; Chicago (Ill.) -- Fiction; Journalists -- Fiction; Marriage -- Fiction
Felix became aware of himself, standing bareheaded a few steps from the
door of his studio, gazing at the moon. He was aware of the absurdity of
that moment of moonstruck vision. He remembered the errand he was upon,
and how weighted with tragedy it had seemed a minute since. He realized
the symbolic character of his departure from the studio. Yes—symbolic!
For he knew now that he did not care two pins for Phyllis—as a person.
What Rose-Ann had said of him was utterly true. He did not care for
persons—not even for Rose-Ann. He lived in a world of ideas. And because
he had found the idea of Rose-Ann as his jailor intolerable, he had
taken her at her word, accepted his liberation, gone out of the door.
But not—he smiled at the foolish thought—not into another captivity, not
into the warm, constraining, anxious arms of Phyllis, or any other!
No—he was free now of the idea of that tyranny; and Rose-Ann was free of
it. With her gesture motioning him to go, she had broken the intolerable
chain that had irked their lives. Free now, his own master, drawing his
breath without permission from any other living being, once more able to
call his soul his own, he could enjoy at last the companionship, in a
common love of beauty, of the one being on earth who loved beauty as he
loved it—and who understood freedom and the need of freedom better,
indeed, than he had ever understood it! She had never lied to herself or
to him. From the first she had disdained to accept the promises which he
had been so eager to make. She was a true child of the moon, blessed
with its gifts, no staid denizen of the sober realm of day, but fleet of
soul and changeable and free like her immortal mother and mistress!
No—he realized it now—no mere woman could hold his love; it had been
folly to hope and pretend so; not Rose-Ann, not Phyllis, not any woman.
But one who could be more and less than woman, who did not, as mortal
women do, want to own and be owned; who possessed herself with a divine
aloofness, who had her own orbit that nothing could deflect—in her he
could find a companionship deeper than any mortal love.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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