"Yes, you make him ring, you know. They nearly always hear him. And
if they don't the first time, you make him ring again."
For a little space she laughed helplessly. At last:
"I am an idiot to encourage you. Seriously," she added, "about the
little play."
"Presently by us to be enacted?"
"The plot," I said, "is as follows. Punch has a row with Judy and
knocks her out. (Laughter.) Various well-intentioned and benignant
fools look in on Punch to pass the time of day, and get--very
properly--knocked out for their pains. (Loud and prolonged laughter.)
This is followed by the side-splitting incident in which a handy clown
not only eludes the thirsty bludgeon, but surreptitiously steals the
inevitable sausages. Exit clown. Punch, already irritated at having
missed clown, misses sausages, and exit in high dudgeon. Re-enter
Judy, followed by sausaged clown, who comforts her. (Oh, Judy!)
Re-enter Punch. Justifiable tussle. Punch sees sausages and begins to
find his length. Clown sees stars and exit. Punch knocks out Judy
with a left hook. To him, gloating, enter constable. It seems Judy's
knock-out more serious than usual. Constable suggests that Punch shall
go quietly. Punch does not see it, and retires to fetch persuader.
Constable protests and is persuaded. (Laughter.) Enter ghost--not
clear whose ghost, but any ghost in a storm. Punch unnerved. Ghost
gibbers. Punch more unnerved. Ghost gibbers again. Punch terrified.
Exit ghost and enter hangman, to whom Punch, unstrung by recent
encounter with apparition, falls an easy prey. Curtain. You bow from
the mouth of the booth. I adjust nose and collect money in diminutive
tin pail. How's that?"
"Lovely, Punch! But where does Toby dear come in?"
At the mention of his name the terrier rose and went to her. His
mistress stroked his soft head.
"In the background," said I. "Or the offing (nautical). I don't think
he'd better act. Let him be stage-door-keeper."
"All right. Now open the puppet-box."
It was a nice set of puppets, and they were very simple to manipulate.
They fitted easily on to the hand, the forefinger controlling the head,
and the thumb and second finger the arms. The old fellow's cudgel was
a dream.
We decided that I had better stick to Punch and Punch alone. For the
others she would be answerable.
After rehearsing for half an hour, we stopped for breakfast. In the
absence of cutlery, it was a ragged meal, but what mattered that? We
were for letting the world slip--we should ne'er be younger.
People were stirring now. Carts rumbled in the distance, and cars sang
past on the long, white road. Presently came one that slowed and
slowed and stopped.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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