The Business of Being a WomanTarbell, Ida M. (Ida Minerva)
General
The Business of Being a Woman
Tarbell, Ida M. (Ida Minerva)
Women -- Social and moral questions
It is a lack of any serious consideration of the nature of the
undertaking she is going into which permits her at the start to accept
a false notion of her economic position. She agrees that she is being
"supported"; she consents to accept what is given her; she even
consents to ask for money. Men and society at large take her at her
own valuation. Loose thinking by those who seek to influence public
opinion has aggravated the trouble. They start with the idea that she
is a parasite--does not pay her way. "Men hunt, fish, keep the cattle,
or raise corn," says a popular writer, "for women to eat the game, the
fish, the meat, and the corn." The inference is that the men alone
render useful service. But neither man nor woman eats of these things
until the woman has prepared them. The theory that the man who raises
corn does a more important piece of work than the woman who makes it
into bread is absurd. The theory that she does something more
difficult and less interesting is equally absurd.
The practice of handing over the pay envelope at the end of the week
to the woman, so common among laboring people, is a recognition of her
equal economic function. It is a recognition that the venture of the
two is common and that its success depends as much on the care and
intelligence with which she spends the money as it does on the energy
and steadiness with which he earns it. Whenever one or the other
fails, trouble begins. The failure to understand this business side of
the marriage relation almost inevitably produces humiliation and
irritation. So serious has the strain become because of this false
start that various devices have been suggested to repair it--Mr.
Wells' "Paid Motherhood" is one; weekly wages as for a servant is
another. Both notions encourage the primary mistake that the woman has
not an equal economic place with the man in the marriage.
Marriage is a business as well as a sentimental partnership. But a
business partnership brings grave practical responsibilities, and
this, under our present system, the girl is rarely trained to face.
She becomes a partner in an undertaking where her function is
spending. The probability is she does not know a credit from a debit,
has to learn to make out a check correctly, and has no conscience
about the fundamental matter of living within the allowance which can
be set aside for the family expenses. When this is true of her, she at
once puts herself into the rank of an incompetent--she becomes an
economic dependent. She has laid the foundation for becoming an Uneasy
Woman.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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