The Cabinet Minister: A farce in four actsPinero, Arthur Wing
General
The Cabinet Minister: A farce in four acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
Comedy plays; English drama -- 19th century
No, it's all my fault, every bit of it. [A pretty melody on the harp is
heard.] Brooke, never marry a country-bred girl as your pa did. When he
fell in love with me I was content with three frocks a year--think of
that!--and had to twist up my own hats. And I could have done it for
ever down at Cleverton, but I didn't stand the transplanting. Oh, I'll
never forget how the fine folks snubbed me and sneered at me when I came
to town. Brooke, my son, I declare to goodness that for ten long years I
never saw a nose that wasn't turned up! And then pa got his baronetcy,
and old Lady Drumdurris gave us her forefinger to shake, and that did
it. But it was too late; I was spoilt by that time. I had been too long
fishing for friends with dances, and dinners, and drags, and
race-parties, and all sorts of bait; and when the time came for a few
people to like me for my own stupid, rough self I'd got into the way of
scattering sovereigns as freely as I used to sprinkle mignonette seed in
my little garden at the Yale Farm.
BROOKE TWOMBLEY.
All this is very painful, Mater--what?
LADY TWOMBLEY.
[Crying.] What a silly woman I've been, Brooke!
BROOKE TWOMBLEY.
We're all thoughtless at times.
LADY TWOMBLEY.
If I had but pulled in when pa's Irish rents began to dwindle!
BROOKE TWOMBLEY.
Why didn't you, Mater?
LADY TWOMBLEY.
I don't know, but I didn't, I only prayed for better times and ordered
Gillow to refurnish the dining-room. Last season I got through eighteen
thousand pounds!
BROOKE TWOMBLEY.
Oh!
[She twists him round, pointing to the walls of the conservatory.]
LADY TWOMBLEY.
And look! Look at this sixpenny Algerian grotto I've stuck in the middle
of the house. Seven thousand four hundred and fifty this cost, not
counting the hot-water pipes.
BROOKE TWOMBLEY.
Is it paid for?
LADY TWOMBLEY.
Your dear pa transferred the money for it to my account at Scott's, but
I've gone and spent it on other things.
BROOKE TWOMBLEY.
Mater!
LADY TWOMBLEY.
Oh, my poor heart!
BROOKE TWOMBLEY.
Well, Mater, any assistance I can render you in this emergency----
LADY TWOMBLEY.
Ah, I know. [Seizing his hand and kissing it.] My Brooke! my comfort!
PROBYN.
[Outside.] Lady Drumdurris--Dowager Lady Drumdurris.
BROOKE TWOMBLEY.
Egidia and Aunt Dora.
LADY TWOMBLEY.
[Wiping her eyes.] Your aunt mustn't see me upset. Brooke, don't think
anything more of what I've told you. I've tumbled into the mud before
now, but mud dries to dust and I've always managed to shake it off.
Dora!
[The DOWAGER COUNTESS OF DRUMDURRIS enters--a portly, rather
formidable-looking lady of forty-five or fifty, in Court dress and
diamonds.]
LADY TWOMBLEY.
Well, Dora, are you tired?
DOWAGER.
I hope I am never fatigued in doing my duty to my family, Kate. Here is
poor Egidia.
[EGIDIA, COUNTESS OF DRUMDURRIS enters--a small, serious girl, with a
great deal of presence and dignity, also in Court dress.]
EGIDIA.
How do you do, Lady Twombley?
LADY TWOMBLEY.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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