The Cabinet Minister: A farce in four actsPinero, Arthur Wing
General
The Cabinet Minister: A farce in four acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
Comedy plays; English drama -- 19th century
[To MACPHAIL.] Pray sit down. You must be fatigued with last night's
dance.
LADY MACPHAIL.
No Macphail is ever fatigued. But the poor lad feels like a caged eagle
in the dress of the South.
LADY TWOMBLEY.
I am sure it is--most becoming.
LADY MACPHAIL.
Sit, lad. [MACPHAIL sits, hitching up his trousers unhappily.] You know
the object of our visit, Sir Julian?
SIR JULIAN TWOMBLEY.
Lady Drumdurris has hinted----
LADY MACPHAIL.
The boy is here to pour out the passionate torrent of his love for your
child Imogen. Speak, Colin.
[MACPHAIL rouses himself, rises, and looks round.]
MACPHAIL.
Mother, you do it. [He resumes his seat.]
LADY MACPHAIL.
Ah, if we were at Castle Ballocheevin, with the wind roaring round Ben
Muchty, and the sound of the pipers playing by the shores of
Loch-na-Doich, then you would hear Colin's voice rise loud and high.
SIR JULIAN TWOMBLEY.
As we are denied these obvious advantages, it is almost necessary to ask
you to explain----
LADY MACPHAIL.
The lad has met your child on but three or four occasions.
MACPHAIL.
Just three occasions and a bit, mother.
LADY MACPHAIL.
But he loves her with a love that only a Macphail can experience.
LADY TWOMBLEY.
Of course one would like to know precisely the kind of affection that
is.
LADY MACPHAIL.
Naturally. Speak, Colin.
[MACPHAIL rises, embarrassed.]
MACPHAIL.
I love her well enough.
LADY MACPHAIL.
Bravely said!
DOWAGER.
Delightful. [To SIR JULIAN and LADY MACPHAIL.] A grand nature.
LADY MACPHAIL.
Go on, Colin.
MACPHAIL.
That's all, mother. [He resumes his seat.]
LADY MACPHAIL.
[To LADY TWOMBLEY.] You have heard the lad?
LADY TWOMBLEY.
Distinctly.
LADY MACPHAIL.
As we are all to meet next month as Lord Drumdurris's guests at
Drumdurris Castle, it would be well if this engagement were settled at
once.
DOWAGER.
Without delay.
SIR JULIAN TWOMBLEY.
The question, of course, is whether Imogen--h'm!
LADY TWOMBLEY.
Whether Imogen can return the affection----
SIR JULIAN TWOMBLEY.
Which Sir Colin honours her by entertaining.
LADY MACPHAIL.
Has the lad your permission to pour into her ear such impassioned words
as he has just uttered to us?
LADY TWOMBLEY.
I think there can be no objection to _that_.
DOWAGER.
Certainly not.
LADY MACPHAIL.
When will your daughter grant him an hour for that purpose?
LADY TWOMBLEY.
An _hour_?
MACPHAIL.
Three-quarters will be enough, mother.
LADY MACPHAIL.
Bravely said!
DOWAGER.
Charming!
LADY TWOMBLEY.
When, Julian?
SIR JULIAN TWOMBLEY.
H'm! when?
DOWAGER.
When? [IMOGEN's voice is heard outside.]
IMOGEN.
[Calling.] Mamma, dear!
DOWAGER.
When? I suggest, now. Here is Imogen.
[MACPHAIL rises hastily and awkwardly. IMOGEN enters.]
IMOGEN.
Oh, I didn't know you had visitors. [Shaking hands with SIR COLIN and
LADY MACPHAIL.] Sir Colin--Lady Macphail.
DOWAGER.
Now, Julian, leave them together! Katherine!
SIR JULIAN TWOMBLEY.
Imogen, my dear.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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