The Cabinet Minister: A farce in four actsPinero, Arthur Wing
General
The Cabinet Minister: A farce in four acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
Comedy plays; English drama -- 19th century
[IMOGEN comes to SIR JULIAN. LADY TWOMBLEY, the DOWAGER, LADY MACPHAIL,
and MACPHAIL talk together.]
SIR JULIAN TWOMBLEY.
Talk to Sir Colin for a few moments while I look through my speech.
IMOGEN.
Certainly, papa. [SIR JULIAN goes out.] What an awful task! [Taking a
book from the table.]
LADY MACPHAIL.
[Quietly to MACPHAIL.] Colin, let her hear how a Macphail can love.
[Kissing him.] My boy! [To the DOWAGER and LADY TWOMBLEY.] I'll drive
round to Lady Macwhirter's and return. Leave them! Ah, the pipers shall
play to the home-coming of a bride at Castle Ballocheevin! [She goes
out.]
DOWAGER.
Come, Katherine. Think of it! To be the mother-in-law of the head of the
Clan Macphail!
LADY TWOMBLEY.
Dora, what's the use of a head with no tongue in it?
[The DOWAGER and LADY TWOMBLEY go out. MACPHAIL looks round uneasily.]
MACPHAIL.
[To himself.] Where's mother?
IMOGEN.
[To herself.] Oh, why do they leave us! [To MACPHAIL.] Were you at the
dance of the Perth Highlanders last night, Sir Colin?
MACPHAIL.
Aye, I was.
IMOGEN.
Did you dance much?
MACPHAIL.
Aye, I did.
IMOGEN.
[To herself.] He must make the next remark.
MACPHAIL.
[Nerving himself and rising suddenly.] Miss Twombley!
IMOGEN.
Sir Colin!
MACPHAIL.
I--I just wish you had been there.
IMOGEN.
Do you? Why?
MACPHAIL.
Because--because--because I'm thinking there was room for more people.
IMOGEN.
Oh, of course. [She goes to the window and looks out.] Lady Macphail is
just driving away.
MACPHAIL.
No!
IMOGEN.
Yes, there she goes.
[MACPHAIL goes hastily to the window and looks out.]
MACPHAIL.
[To himself.] Oh! Mother!
[He goes out quickly unnoticed by IMOGEN.]
IMOGEN.
She has turned the corner, Sir Colin. Did you see her? Why, where is he?
[VALENTINE enters. She does not see him.]
VALENTINE WHITE.
Good-bye, Imogen. [She turns to him.]
IMOGEN.
Ah! [Falteringly.] Why will you go away, Val?
VALENTINE WHITE.
You know my craze. Everything in this country is so stuck-up.
IMOGEN.
Mamma's not--stuck-up, as you call it.
VALENTINE WHITE.
Her gowns frighten me. My first recollection of anything is Aunt Kitty
in a print-skirt at a wash-tub.
IMOGEN.
Hush! don't, Val!
VALENTINE WHITE.
There now! you're horrified!
IMOGEN.
One doesn't wish everybody to know.
VALENTINE WHITE.
Then that's being stuck-up, Imogen.
IMOGEN.
Then we differ.
VALENTINE WHITE.
Of course. Everybody does differ from me in this stuck-up country. Wish
me good-bye.
IMOGEN.
[Looking away.] I presume my brother Brooke is stuck-up also?
VALENTINE WHITE.
Well, he appears to have fallen into the starch after that wash of Aunt
Kitty's.
IMOGEN.
Indeed. And papa?
VALENTINE WHITE.
Oh, of course, he's ironed out by the House of Commons.
IMOGEN.
How very rude! [Laying her hand on his arm.] And am I--altered, Val?
VALENTINE WHITE.
Altered! The change is heart-breaking!
IMOGEN.
Oh, how cruel!
VALENTINE WHITE.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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