This one went much further in the unique stress of his extraordinary
position. He pictured his people dressing for dinner at home; he
pictured his form sitting down to private-work in his form-master’s
hall; there was no end to his mental pictures, for they included one of
himself on the scaffold in the broad-arrows of the little old waxwork
at Madame Tassaud’s! He could not help himself; his mind was crumbling
with his dreadful deed and its awful possibilities. Now his heart bled
honestly for the poor dead man, now for his own mother and sister, and
now not less freely for himself. He had been so innocent in the whole
matter; he had only been an innocent and rather sporting fool. And now
one of these lives was ended by his hand, and all the rest would be
darkened for ever after!
It was too great a burden for a boy to bear; but Pocket bore it far
into the long June twilight, scarcely stirring in the big soft chair,
yet never leaning back in it again. He sat hunched up as though once
more battling for breath, but curiously enough his bodily distress had
flown before that of the mind. Pocket would thankfully have changed
them back again, for his brain was as clear as his bronchial tubes, its
capacity for suffering undimmed by a single physical preoccupation.
Between seven and eight the young lady of the house came in with
candles and a kind of high-tea on a tray; she also brought a box of
d’Auvergne Cigarettes and the latest evening paper, which her uncle
thought that Mr. Upton would like to see. That was how the girl
addressed the boy, and the style always made him feel, and wish to
seem, something of a man. But his present effort in that direction was
sadly perfunctory: he almost ejected little Miss Platts in his
eagerness to shut the door on her and see the news.
It was neither unimportant nor at first sight reassuring. The dead man
had been identified by the police, who knew him of old, and were
reported as hopeful of obtaining a clue through his identity. The clue
was the point that stuck like a burr in the boyish brain; his idea of a
clue was one leading straight to himself; it took Dr. Baumgartner to
explain the true value of the identity clause, and bid the boy eat his
meal.
“Trust the police!” said he. “They’re on a false scent already; they
may try at that end till it turns their hair grey!”
Pocket disliked this tone; he had begun to think almost as
reverentially of his victim as of a dead member of his own family. It
appeared thus early, however, that in life the defunct had been by no
means worthy of respect. Rowton Houses had been his only home, except
when his undistinguished offences got him into gaol; the surreptitious
practices of the professional mendicant, his sole means of livelihood.
So much was to be read between the few brief lines in the stop-press
column of the latest evening paper. Again it required Baumgartner to
extract comfort from such items.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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