ERG. (_crying_). O dear! HEG. (_half-aside_). 'Tis this afflicts him, that the army for guttling is now disbanded. Meanwhile, have you found no one to command for you the army that you mentioned as disbanded? ERG. What do you think? All to whom it used to fall are in the habit of declining that province since your son Philopolemus was taken prisoner. HEG. I' faith, 'tisn't to be wondered at, that they are in the habit of declining that province. You have necessity for numerous troops, and those of numerous kinds. Well, first you have need of the Bakerians [5]. Of these Bakerians there are several kinds. You have need of Roll-makerians, you hare need too of Confectionerians, you have need of Poultererians, you have need of Beccaficorians; besides all the maritime forces are necessary for you. ERG. How the greatest geniuses do frequently lie concealed! How great a general now is _this_ private individual! HEG. Only have good courage; for I trust that in a few days I shall bring him back home. For see _now_; there's a captive here, a young man of Elis, born of a very high family, and of very great wealth; I trust that it will come to pass that I shall get my son in exchange for him. ERG. May the Gods and Goddesses grant it so! HEG. But are you invited out anywhere to dinner? ERG. Nowhere that I know of. But, pray, why do you ask me? HEG. Because this is my birthday; for that reason I'd like you to be invited to dinner at my house. ERG. 'Tis kindly said. HEG. But if you can be content to eat a very little-- ERG. Aye, even ever so little; for on such fare as that do, I enjoy myself every day at home. HEG. Come, _then_, please, set yourself up for sale. ERG. I'll put myself up for purchase, just like a landed estate, unless any one shall _privately_ make a better offer that pleases myself and my friends more, _and_ to my own conditions will I bind myself. HEG. You are surely selling me a bottomless pit [6], _and_ not a landed estate. But if you are coming, _do so_ in time. ERG. Why, for that matter. I'm at leisure even now. HEG. Go then, _and_ hunt for a hare; at present, _in me_ you have but a ferret [7], for my fare is in the way of frequenting a rugged road. ERG. You'll never repulse me by that, Hegio, so don't attempt it. I'll come, in spite of it, with teeth well shod. HEG. Really, my viands are _but_ of a rough sort [8]. ERG. Are you in the habit of eating brambles? HEG. _Mine_ is an earthy dinner. ERG. A pig is an earthy animal. HEG. _Earthy_ from its plenty of vegetables. ERG. Treat your sick people [9] at home _with that fare?_ Do you wish anything else? HEG. Come in good time. ERG. You are putting in mind one who remembers quite well. (_Exit._ HEG. I'll go in-doors, and in the house I'll make the calculation how little money I have at my banker's; afterwards I'll go to my brother's, whither I was saying I would go. (_Goes into his house._)