CALL. (_to_ TRANIO). But why, you greatest of simpletons, have you taken refuge at the altar? TRA. He frightened me on his arrival. (_To_ THEUROPIDES.) Say now, what I have done _amiss_. Look, now there's an umpire for us both; come, discuss _the matter_. THEU. I say that you have corrupted my son. TRA. Only listen. I confess that he has done amiss; that he has given freedom to his mistress; that in your absence he has borrowed money at interest; that, I admit, is squandered away. Has he done anything different to what sons of the noblest families do? THEU. Upon my faith, I must be on my guard with you; you are too clever a pleader. CALL. Just let me be umpire in this matter. (_To_ TRANIO.) Get up; I'll seat myself there. THEU. By all means: take the management of this dispute to yourself. (_Pushes him to one side of the altar._) TRA. Why, this is _surely_ a trick. Make me, then, not to be in a fright, and yourself to be in a fright in my stead. THEU. I consider now everything of trifling consequence, compared with the way in which he has fooled me. TRA. I' faith, 'twas cleverly done, and I rejoice that it was done. Those who have white heads ought at that age to be wiser. THEU. What am I now to do if my friend Demipho or Philonides-- TRA. Tell them in what way your servant made a fool of you. You would be affording most capital plots for Comedies. CALL. Hold your tongue awhile; let me speak in my turn.--Listen. THEU. By all means. CALL. In the first place of all then, you know that I am the companion of your son; he has gone to my house, for he is ashamed to come into your presence, because he knows that you are aware what he has done. Now, I beseech you, do pardon his simplicity and youthfulness. He is your _son_; you know that this age is wont to play such pranks; whatever he has done, he has done in company with me. We have acted wrong: the interest, principal, and all the sum at which the mistress vas purchased, all of it we will find, _and_ will contribute together, at our own cost, not yours. THEU. No mediator could have come to me more able to influence me than yourself. I am neither angry with him [2], nor do I blame him for anything: nay more, in my presence, wench on, drink, do what you please. If he's ashamed of this, that he has been extravagant, I have sufficient satisfaction. CALL. I'm quite ashamed _myself_. TRA. He grants pardon thus far; now then, what is to become of me? THEU. Filth, tied up as you hang, you shall be beaten with stripes. TRA. Even though I am ashamed [3]? THEU. Upon my faith, I'll be the death of you, if I live! CALL. Make this pardon general; do, pray, forgive Tranio this offence, for my sake. THEU. I would more readily put up with your obtaining any other request of me than that I should forbear sending to perdition this fellow for his most villanous doings. CALL. Pray, do pardon him. TRA. Do pardon me?