Brittany (France) -- Fiction; France -- History -- Medieval period, 987-1515 -- Fiction; Historical fiction; Women -- Fiction
Laure descended to prime next morning, trembling for fear of unknown
possibilities. But no one in the church saw her muddy sandals; and her
skirts and mantle were not more soiled round the bottom than was
customary with those nuns that took their recreation in the garden. By
the time the breaking of the fast occurred, she was reassured, and felt
herself safe from the consequences of her night. Then, and only then,
did she turn her mind to the choice that she must make during the
ensuing sennight.
That week was one of terror by night and woe by day. Hourly she resolved
to renounce forever all thoughts of the flesh, confess her sin, and
remain true to the convent for life. For the first three days these
renewals of faith made her strong and stronger. She wept and she prayed
and she hoped for strength; and finally she began to believe that the
Devil was beaten. And yet—and yet—she did not even now confess the story
of her acquaintance with Flammecœur. She said to herself that she would
win this last fight alone; but she did not seek to find if there was
self-deception in that excuse. No one but the girl Eloise had any idea
that there existed such a person as the trouvère; and Eloise was unaware
that Sœur Angelique had ever seen that gallant gentleman save when she
and Yvain were present. Moreover, the stupid one was becoming alarmed
lest the sudden devotional fervor of Demoiselle Angelique should lead to
the cessation of those meetings for which her vague soul so impiously
thirsted. The rest of the sisters perceived Laure’s extra prayers and
rigorous fasting with admiration and approval, and put them down to one
of those sudden rushes of fervor to which young nuns were peculiarly
subject.
After three days of this devotional effort, the Devil widened his little
wedge of temptation, and roused in her an overpowering desire to see her
lover again. By now she had lost her shame at the first hot kiss ever
laid upon her lips, and—alas, poor humanity!—was longing secretly for
more. So long, however, as Flammecœur was still in Le Crépuscule, she
believed that she could endure everything. But she knew that after four
days he would be there no more; and if she let her chance go, it was the
last she should ever have. Then her mind strayed to the after-picture of
her life here in the nunnery; and at the thought her heart grew numb and
cold. Yet still she fought and prayed, trusting to no one her weight of
temptation, keeping steadfastly to that self-deceptive determination to
finish the battle alone.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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