TRAMP. I tender my gratitude for the hearty hospitality. [Throws away
the cheap cigar[3] he was smoking and comes to the table].
[3] The "cigar" will have probably consisted of some bad tobacco
rolled up in a bit of newspaper.
MARTHA. And what sort do you belong to? Peasants, or some other?
TRAMP. Well, I'm not of the peasant class, nor of the aristocracy. I'm
of the double-edged class.
MARTHA. What's that? [hands him a cup of tea].
TRAMP. _Merci._ Why this; that my father was a Polish Count, and besides
him I had many others; and I also had two mothers. In general my
biography presents many difficulties.
MARTHA. Have another cup? Well, did you get any learning?
TRAMP. My learning has also been very uncircumstantial. Not my mother,
but my godmother apprenticed me to a blacksmith. That blacksmith was my
first perdagogue; and his perdagogy consisted in this--that he did not
beat his anvil as often as he beat my unfortunate head. Nevertheless,
however much he hit me, he could not deprive me of talent. Then I went
to a locksmith's, and there I was appreciated, and became foreman. I
made acquaintance with educated people, and belonged to a political
faction. I was able to master intellectual literature; and my life might
have been elevated for I possessed immense talent.
AKULÍNA. Of course.
TRAMP. But here came an upset. The despotic yoke oppressing the life of
the people! I got into prison; I mean, I suffered the incarceration of
freedom.
MARTHA. What for?
TRAMP. For our rights.
MARTHA. What rights?
TRAMP. What rights? Why the rights that the bourgeois should not feast
continually, and that the labouring proletariat might reap the rewards
of labour.
AKULÍNA. And get back the land, I suppose?
TRAMP. Well naturally. The Agromoric question too.
AKULÍNA. May God and the Holy Queen of Heaven grant it. We are that
pressed for land. Well, and how are things now?
TRAMP. Now? I am off to Moscow. I shall go to an exploiter of labour.
Can't be helped; I shall humble myself and say--give me what work you
will, only take me.
AKULÍNA. Well, have some more tea.
TRAMP. Thank you; _merci_ I mean.
Noise and talk in the passage outside.
AKULÍNA. Here's Michael, just in time for tea.
MARTHA [rises] Oh, my goodness, Ignát is with him! That means he's
drunk.
Michael and Ignát stagger in.
IGNÁT. How are you all? [Crosses himself before the icon] Here we are,
damn you, just in time for tea. We went to church, service was done; we
went to dine, all eaten and gone; to the pub, we went in, just time to
begin. Ha, ha, ha! You give us some tea and we'll give you some vódka.
That's fair. [Laughs].
MICHAEL. Where has this swell come from? [Points to Tramp. Takes a
bottle from the bosom of his coat and puts it on the table] Bring some
cups.
AKULÍNA. Well, did you get on all right?
IGNÁT. Nothing could be better, damn you; drank, and had a spree, and
have brought some home.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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