The "Characters" of Jean de La BruyèreLa Bruyère, Jean de
General
The "Characters" of Jean de La Bruyère
La Bruyère, Jean de
Character sketches -- Early works to 1800; Characters and characteristics
(121.) Gnathon[571] lives for no one but himself, and the rest of the
world are to him as if they did not exist. He is not satisfied with
occupying the best seat at table, but he must take the seats of two
other guests, and forgets that the dinner was not provided for him
alone, but for the company as well; he lays hold of every dish, and
looks on each course as his own; he never sticks to one single dish
until he has tried them all, and would like to enjoy them all at one
and the same time. At table his hands serve for a knife and fork; he
paws the meat over and over again, and tears it to pieces, so that if
the other guests wish to dine, it must be on his leavings. He does not
spare them any of those filthy and disgusting habits which are enough
to spoil the appetite of the most hungry; the gravy and sauce run
over his chin and beard; if he takes part of a stew out of a dish, he
spills it by the way over another dish and on the cloth, so you may
distinguish him by his track. He eats with a great deal of smacking and
noise, rolls his eyes, and uses the table as a manger, picks his teeth
and continues eating; he makes every place his home, and will have as
much elbow-room in church and in a theatre as if he were in his own
room. When he rides in a coach, it must always be forward, for he says
that any other seat will make him fall in a swoon, if we can believe
him. When he travels he is always in advance of his companions, so as
to get first to the inn, and choose the best room and the best bed for
himself; he makes use of everybody, and his own and other peopleʼs
servants run about and do his errands; everything is his he lays his
hands on, even clothes and luggage; he disturbs every one, but does
not inconvenience himself for anybody; he pities no one, and knows no
other indispositions but his own, his over-feeding and biliousness; he
laments no personʼs death, fears no oneʼs but his own, and to redeem
his own life, would willingly consent to see the entire human race
become extinct.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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