The Characters of Theophrastus: A Translation, with IntroductionTheophrastus
General
The Characters of Theophrastus: A Translation, with Introduction
Theophrastus
Character sketches -- Early works to 1800
[12] A Thracian and Phrygian deity, whose worship was introduced at
Athens in the fifth century. Sabazius represented the active powers of
nature, and hence was often identified with Dionysus.
XII _The Thankless Man_
(Μεμψιμοιρία)
Thanklessness is an improper criticism of what one receives. The
thankless man, when a friend has sent him something from his table,
says to the servant who brings it, “He grudged me a dish of soup and a
cup of wine, I suppose, and so wouldn’t invite me to dinner.” When his
sweetheart kisses him, he says, “I wonder if you really do love me so in
your heart.”
He blames Zeus, not for raining, but for not raining before. When he
picks up a purse in the street, he says, “But I never found a treasure!”
If he secures a slave at a bargain after long dickering with the owner,
he says, “I imagine I haven’t got much at this price.” To the person who
brings the glad tidings that a son is born to him, he retorts, “If you
only add, ‘And half your fortune’s gone,’ you’ll hit it.”
When he wins his case in court and secures a unanimous verdict, he abuses
his attorney for having omitted many points in his brief. When his
friends make him up a purse, and wish him joy, “Why so?” he exclaims.
“Is it because I shall have to pay you all back and be grateful into the
bargain, as though you had done me a favor?”
XIII _The Suspicious Man_
(Ἀπιστία)
Suspicion is a kind of belief that everybody is fraudulent. The
suspicious man is the sort of person who sends a servant to market and
then sends another to watch him and find out the price he pays. When he
carries the money himself, he sits down every hundred yards and counts it
over. After he is in bed he asks his wife whether she locked the chest
and shut the cupboard, and whether the hall-door bolt was pushed well
in. If she answers “Yes!” he gets up, nevertheless, and lights a lamp;
naked and barefoot he goes around and examines everything. Even then he
finds it hard to go to sleep. When he goes to collect interest, he takes
witnesses along, lest his debtors deny the claims. He has his cloak
dyed, not by the best workman, but by the fuller who can furnish good
security. If any one asks the loan of a wine-set, he prefers not to lend
it; but if a member of his family or a near relative wants it, he makes
the loan; yet he scarcely does so until he has had it assayed and weighed
and has received a guarantee for its safe return. He orders his footman
not to fall behind him, but to go in front so that by watching him he
may prevent his running away. If a purchaser has bought goods of him and
says: “Charge the amount to me; I have no time now to send the money,” he
replies: “Do not trouble yourself about it; when you have finished your
business, I will go with you and get my pay.”
XIV _The Disagreeable Man_
(Ἀηδία)
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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