"At last, after a few more fruitless attempts, I managed to fix my mind on the condition of my own prospects. Firstly, was I in love? And this involved settling in my mind what love really meant. If not, what had caused in me certain sensations never before experienced? Secondly, if this love existed, was it returned? It is not necessary for you to follow me through my subsequent confused circle of reasoning, as it led to no satisfactory conclusion beyond a determination to watch for further light, and in the meantime to follow the dictates of inclination. It is always easy to do the latter, and unless a man’s nature inclines strongly to selfishness, it is often the wisest course to adopt. Progress is often hindered by self-repression, and even more by self-analysis. "At the moment, inclination led me towards a figure which I saw in the distance. On drawing nearer I felt certain that the form in question was a familiar one, and soon recognized one of my London acquaintances, Lord Vancome. Now if there was one man whom I thoroughly disliked without apparent reason, it was Vancome. I had at that time a peculiar eccentricity; there were a few people who possessed the power of unconsciously torturing me in a way that defies description. He was one of these. If we met in a room I felt my whole flesh creep, and on shaking hands with him an absolute chill of horror passed through my body. It was with great difficulty that I refrained from showing to such persons marked expressions of dislike. When, therefore, I met him thus unexpectedly, it seemed as though a blight had suddenly swept over the hills, blurring the sunshine: the glow of life had vanished; the beauty of love was forgotten. "’Why, Sydney!’ he called out, ’whoever expected to see you here?’ "I told him briefly how it came about, and that I was stopping with Major Couson. "’Oh!’ he said, ’that’s lucky! I am glad to find there is some sort of society in the place. Mr. Soudin asked me down, and feeling a trifle played out, I accepted; but I was already beginning to dread the idea of being confined to the society of Heather Lodge for a fortnight. The daughter’s not a bad sort of girl, and devilish pretty, too!--but one wants even more than that combined with the shooting, which is not first-rate, to avoid being bored to death during a period of two weeks.’ "’Why are you not shooting?’ I asked. "’The old man’s got a touch of the gout, so I was taking a look round.’ (Then before I could think of anything further to say his thought flashed through me.) ’_Damn the fellow! I wish he would go. The girl’s bound to turn up soon, and I don’t want him fooling round._’ "’I must be going,’ I said, looking at my watch. ’No doubt we shall meet again before long.’ "He seemed relieved, and saying that he should look me up, held out his hand. I took it, thanking God I had not a gun, and being now certain that I was in love, went hurriedly on my way.