The Chequers: Being the Natural History of a Public-House, Set Forth in; a Loafer's DiaryRunciman, James
General
The Chequers: Being the Natural History of a Public-House, Set Forth in; a Loafer's Diary
Runciman, James
England -- Social conditions -- 19th century -- Fiction
We had tea, and Teddy so far improved on his bashfulness that he made
grabs at several things which would have disagreed with him if I had let
him follow his inclinations. He affably received my hints on table
etiquette, and smiled with gentleness when I told him he had eaten
enough. The little creature's ideas were like those of a dog. He had
been taught to follow and to come home to his kennel; he was ready to be
gracious toward those who fed him, and he had the true canine glance
which expresses gratitude and expectancy at once. But he was only a
rudimentary human being, and his brain power had slept so far. I showed
him Caldecott's wonderful "House that Jack Built," and he gloated over
that delightful villain of a dog; the cat and the rat he understood, but
he knew nothing of the cow. I let him stare at the dog as long as he
chose, and he chuckled like a magpie all the time. He proposed to remove
the picture-book, and it was only with difficulty that I persuaded him
to let me keep it. Knowing the street arab class very well, I did not
try to talk with him, for I have always found that an arab's curiosity
when he finds himself in a new place renders him incapable of attending
to anything that is said to him until he has learned the appearance of
every object in the room. The little chap is a barbarian, and you must
treat him exactly as you would treat an adult member of a friendly
savage tribe.
Before Teddy went home I rigged him up in his new boots and stockings,
and he was amusingly proud. When we parted at the alley he said, "You
let me go you house again, and have some nice things and see the dog?"
Of course I invited him, and henceforth he waylaid me in the afternoons
as I went home. At first he was not polite, and his mode of calling,
"Hoy, man! wait for me!" drew marked attention from the public. But he
soon learned to lift his hat and to shake hands. At intervals I gave him
set lessons on manners, and, if he behaved nicely, we had a game at
cricket in my queer old garden. It was almost impossible to make Teddy
understand the morality of any game at first. When he learned that the
ball must not touch his wicket, his treatment of my slow bowling was
positively immoral. I did not mind his kicking the ball out of the way,
nor did I object to his using his bat like a scoop; but when he lay down
in front of the wicket, and sweetly smiled as the ball touched his
stomach, I had to insist on severe cricketing etiquette. As the nights
darkened in I took to amusing myself more and more with Teddy, and
sometimes I did not go out to the Chequers at all. The boy was a severe
trial to me when he learned to play draughts. When once the fundamental
laws of the game dawned on his mind, and he understood that he must try
to reduce the number of my pieces, he thought that any means were
justified if he could be successful. Once I left the room for a minute
while we were playing, and on my return found four of my men had
disappeared.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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