Involuntarily the Bishop’s hand went to his temple in a gesture of
pain, then instantly was forced down. He hesitated, then at length,
“‘Never’ is such a long word,” he said. “Sometimes God says it for us,
but don’t--don’t let us ever say it for ourselves! You know,” a passing
tremor ran along his lips, “He didn’t let me have the grandchild
I hoped for, but don’t--don’t lose having yours. It seems as if I
couldn’t let you go on losing,--that. I am in such a hurry somehow
to-day. Can’t you go out there to-day, now? Take the baby the Christmas
present his mother most wants for him, take him his grandmother!”
She turned on him, intense, “Bishop, do you know what it’s like to make
up with a person who’s done you wrong? Do you know what it feels like
to forgive? A person who’d hurt you? Where you care most?”
A moment he groped in past experience for the answer, then in a rush of
realization it came upon him. He rose a little unsteadily, that he,
too, might stand to face her, as she stood by the curtained recess of
the window, where the searchlight of the Christmas sun fell relentless
on the drawn intensity of her plump face. The Bishop’s lean, corded
hands rested on the two ebony knobs of the chair back. He did not
notice, nor did she, that he swayed slightly with a passing dizziness.
“Yes,” he answered slowly, thinking of one he soon must see to-day, “I
know how it feels. Yes, I have had to learn, how to forgive--where I
cared most!”
“How did you make yourself do it? How?”
He would have evaded if he could. “I only know the old way,” he said
humbly, for the Bishop was shy in speaking of some things, as one is
shy in speaking about any friend in his presence.
“Tell me how!”
“I only know one way,” he repeated simply. “We all get at the truth
from different angles, so there may be many ways to learn to forgive,
but I can only tell you about the way that I have tried.” The Bishop
was so old that often, as now, his eyes showed the reflection of the
harbor-lights in view. As always in his sermons, he had now lost, in
his very consciousness of their needs, the presence of his audience in
the overwhelming Presence of which he forced himself to speak, “The
way I have found is to try always to see through His eyes. I think He
is always very near us, trying always to lift us to the level of His
eyes, so that we can look forth from that point of view. I think He is
always trying and trying to say things to us to excuse--the people who
have hurt us. If only we could clear our ears to hear Him! If only we
could stand at the level of His outlook into souls! Then we should see
so much that’s pitiable and excusable, so many handicaps and mistakes,
so much to make us sorry for them that we couldn’t help forgiving. He
always saw enough in every soul to make Him patient, and if we don’t
see enough to make us patient, too, we have to trust His vision and
insight, and forgive because He does.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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