The City Bride (1696): Or, The Merry CuckoldHarris, Joseph
General
The City Bride (1696): Or, The Merry Cuckold
Harris, Joseph
English drama
Mr. _Ven._ Here Boy, desire them to walk up. [_Exit_ Drawer.] 'Tis my
Brother, and a Counsellor, to make an End of this same Business.
_Enter Justice_ Merryman _and a Counsellor; both Tables rise and join
together._
_Merr._ Your Servant, Gentlemen, your Servant: Counsellor _Blunder_ and
I have been canvasing the Business of this your Difference; and I
believe, Brother, the Law will determine it as we have done; for it is
point blank against you.
Mr. _Ven._ If it is, I must be contented: Well Sir, the Child's your
Wife's, and you shall have it; and to endear you the more to't, I'll
settle my part of the Estate on you and yours for ever: Give me your
Hand.
[_They shake Hands._
We now are Friends.
_Merr._ Why that's well said.
_Couns._ We all are Witness to the Agreement.
_Omnes._ All, all.
_Comp._ Nay I scorn to be outdone in Civility; therefore if you please I
have a Gallon or two of Prize-Wine, and half a Dozen of good sound
_Bruges_-Capons, which I'll treat you and this good Company with at
Supper; but no more Mutton, no not a bit.
_Merr._ Well Brother, I'm glad you're Friends: Ods bobs I am. But come,
let's home now, and see what's become of the Bride and Bridegroom:
Farewel Friend, farewell: Come we'll pay at the Bar.
[_Exeunt_ Merr. _Mr._ Vent. _and his Wife,_ Couns. _and_ Dodge.
_Comp._ Come _Peg_, Come and kiss me.
[_Compass_ kisses Peg.
I am Friends with thee too now.
_Pett._ Aye, aye, you have Reason, she has earn'd you a good Fortune;
and need not venture to Sea any more: Yet one thing let me advise you,
'tis Counsel worth a good Fee, for it cures Cuckoldom.
_Comp._ Sayst thou so, come let's hear it.
_Pett._ This it is, Make a flat Divorce between your selves, be you no
longer her Husband, nor she your Wife: Two or three Hours after meet
again, salute, woo and wed afresh, and so the base Name of Cuckold's
blotted quite. This has been experienc'd and approved by many.
_Comp._ 'Tis excellent i'faith,--There, there's for you; and I thank
you. _Peg_, I renounce thee,--nay and I renounce my self too from thee;
thou art now a Widow, _Peg_; I'll go hang my self two or three Hours at
one o' th' Main Yards, and so long thou shalt go drown thy self. Then
we'll meet in _White-Chappel-Fields_, as it were by chance, and woo and
wed again.
_Peg._ With all my Heart, kind Sir, fare you well.
_Comp._ Farewel Widow, remember Time and Place, and d' you hear, Put on
your Sabbath-day best Clothes.
_Peg._ I will, I will.
[_Exit Peg._
_Comp._ Sir, I am beholding to you for your good Counsel.
_Pett._ No, Sir, you have paid me for 't, but I hope you do not intend
to follow your own.
_Comp._ What is that?
_Pett._ Why, you said you'd hang your self.
_Camp._ No no, I have thought better on't, for I'll go drink my self
dead drunk, then wake again, wash my Face, and meet the Bride.
_Pett._ That's well said, and I'll accompany you, and wish you Joy.
_Comp._ Joy, Sir, I have it Sir already, in a good Estate got by a
Chopping Boy.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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