The City Bride (1696): Or, The Merry CuckoldHarris, Joseph
General
The City Bride (1696): Or, The Merry Cuckold
Harris, Joseph
English drama
_Comp._ I thank you: well, I do not think but you'll all see me come off
with as smooth a Forehead, and make my Wife as honest a Woman as a Man
wou'd desire sometimes, I mean of her Rank; and a teeming Woman, as you
know she has been: Nay, I do not think but the Child too will be found
to be as lawful a Child as any Couple of unmarried People can beget.
2d _Neigh._ We long to see it Neighbour _Compasse_, that so some of us
may do the like upon the same occasion.
_Comp._ You're in the right, old Stitch of the World: But soft, see
where she comes with a whole Bundle of as good sound Maidens as her
self.
_Enter_ Peg _new cloth'd, with three or four Women Neighbours._
Stand aside a little, and mind me I pray.
_Omnes._ Agreed, agreed.
_Comp._ Good Morrow fair Maid.
_Peg._ In truth Sir you are mistaken in both, for I am neither fair, nor
yet a Maid.
_Comp._ No, what are you then I pray, a Wife?
_Peg._ That indeed I was, but alas,--I am now a Widow.
_Comp._ A Widow say you? Nay then I must make bold with you; for look
you, your Case is somewhat like mine, I being a Husband without a Wife.
1st _Neigh._ Aye neighbour, this is something like.
_Pett._ They begin well, let them go on.
_Comp._ How long have you been a Widow, good Woman? Nay pray do not weep
forsooth.
_Peg._ I can't choose but cry, to think of the great Loss I had.
_Comp._ Why, was he an honest Man?
_Peg._ Honest quoth a', I vow and protest he was as honest a Man as e're
broke Bread. O I shall never have such another.
[_Cries out._
_Comp._ By my Faith now Mistress you have had a great Loss indeed, for
an honest Man is not to be found every where, nor in every Street.
_Pett._ The Rogue's witty.
2d _Neigh._ Aye, aye, let 'em go on.
_Comp._ And how long is it since you lost this honest Husband?
_Peg._ O dear, his Memory is too fresh; and the Sight of you doubles my
Sorrow.
_Comp._ The Sight of me, say you; why, was he so like me?
_Peg._ As one Apple to another; your two Hands are not more alike.
_Comp._ Nay then I cannot blame thee to weep: An honest Man he was I
warrant him; and you have had a mighty Loss, that's the Truth on't: But
was he proportioned like me, so well limb'd, and of such a wholesom
Complexion, heh!
_Peg._ No Twins were ever more alike.
_Comp._ Well I love, his Memory is still better and better: and how many
Children did he leave behind him?
_Peg._ Only one, Sir.
_Comp._ A Boy or a Girl?
_Peg._ A dainty fine Boy, Sir.
_Comp._ Just my own case still; my Wife (rest her Soul) left me a Boy
too, a lusty chopping Boy of his Age (as they tell me, for I never saw
it).
_Peg._ So is mine.
_Comp._ And what Profession was your Husband of?
_Peg._ A Seaman.
_Comp._ Heigh! my own Faculty too! And can you like a Man of that
Profession again?
_Peg._ Yes surely, for his dear sake, whom I lov'd so tenderly, I shall
always esteem a Sailer.
_Comp._ Shall you so? why then here's your Man: What say you, Is't a
Match?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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