After him followed the charwoman. Crossing herself, she bobbed before
the image. Her money was already in her hand. All through the service,
she had gripped it in a perspiring palm, fearing that it might be lost.
Three-penny-bits are mischievous little coins. She gave out a gentle
sigh of relief when at last she heard it tinkle in the box. It was safe
there. That was its destination. The three farthing candles became
hers. She lit them lovingly. Three children there were, waiting in
some tenement buildings for her return. As she put each candle in its
socket, she whispered each separate name--John--Mary--Michael. There
was not one for herself.
Then came the clerk. He lit four. They represented the sum of coppers
that he had. It might have bought a packet of cigarettes. He looked
pensively at the four candles he had lighted in the sconce, then turned,
fatalistically, on his heel. After all, what good could four farthing
candles do to poor St. Joseph? Perhaps he had been a fool--perhaps it
was a waste of money.
Following him was the bank manager. Six candles he took out of the
brown wooden box. Every year he lit six. He had never lit more; he had
never lit less. He lit them hurriedly, self-consciously, as though he
were ashamed of so many and, turning quickly away, did not notice that
the wick of one of them had burnt down and gone out.
The first servant girl who came after him, lifted it out of the socket
and lit it at another flame.
"I’m going to let that do for me," she whispered to the servant girl
behind her. "I lit it--it ’ud a’ been like that to-morrow if I ’adn’t
a’ lit it."
Seeing her companion’s expression of contempt, she giggled nervously.
She must have been glad to get away down into the shadows of the church.
There, she slipped into an empty pew and sank on to her knees.
"Please Gawd, forgive me," she whispered. "I know it was mean of me,"
and she tried to summon the courage to go back and light a new candle.
But the courage was not there. It requires more courage than you would
think.
At last all had gone but the lady in the heavy fur coat and the
writer--the journalist--the driver of the pen. There was a flood of
light from all the candles at the little altar, the church was empty,
everything was still; but there these two remained, kneeling silently in
their separate pews.
What need was there in the heart of her that kept her so patiently upon
her knees? Some pressing desire, you may be sure--some want that women
have and only women understand. And what was the need in him? Not
money! Nothing that St. Joseph could give. He had no money. One penny
was lying contentedly at the bottom of his pocket. That, at the moment,
was all he had in the world. It is mostly when you have many possessions
that you need the possession of more. To own one penny, knowing that
there is no immediate possibility of owning another, that is as near
contentment as one can well-nigh reach.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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