The Clean HeartHutchinson, A. S. M. (Arthur Stuart-Menteth)
Science
The Clean Heart
Hutchinson, A. S. M. (Arthur Stuart-Menteth)
Authors -- Fiction; Happiness -- Fiction
II
Ah, he has been through it and daily feels the mark of it. Time
swings on. He settles down. The sensation of his return evaporates.
His nephews go back to their duties. He settles down. This is his
post--here in the hurly-burly. He will not desert it. He takes up
his work again. Long days he sits staring at the blank sheets of
paper before him. His thoughts are ready. There obtrudes between
them and the marshalling of them memories of how it had been planned
he again was to resume them: "Won't I keep you quiet just, dear!" ...
That is self, pity for himself, grieving for himself. Let him put it
away. Let him get to work. Let it return--ah, let her face, her
voice, her jolly laughter return to him just for an hour when work is
done, just while he lies awake....
Come to this Mr. Wriford when a year is gone. Summer again--June
again--the holidays again--again that day. He has lived through a
year of it. Through a long year he has proved himself. If he might
know certainly that she is dead, he could not fall back again. That
is what he has feared at the outset. He does not fear it now. He
has lived through a year of it. He is assured of himself now. If he
might but make a pilgrimage to Whitecliffe, see where he had walked
with her, see where perhaps she lies, permit his spirit to walk those
roads, those paths, those fields with her again, suffer it to stand
beside her...!
He goes. He goes first, on a sudden fancy, to far Port Rannock and
stands beside the mound that marks the grave he knows there.
"Well, you old Puddlebox," says Mr. Wriford, standing there. "Well,
you old Puddlebox. How goes it? How goes it now? Well enough with
you, old Puddlebox! You knew the secret. I know it now. Too late
for me, old Puddlebox. But, if you know, you'll be shouting your
praises on it, eh, old Puddlebox? What was it you said as the sea
came on to us? 'Well, we've had some rare times together, boy, since
first you came down the road.'"
He suddenly cried: "I would to God--I would to God you might shake
off this earth, these stones, and come to me face to face for one
moment while I clasped your hand!"
III
So on to Whitecliffe. So to his pilgrimage there. Just such another
day awaits him as on that day a year ago. Sunshine and clouded sun,
as he walks the parade. Presage of rain, as on through Yexley Green
to Whitehouse he goes. Whitehouse still stands empty; he walks the
garden, looks through the windows, tries the door, treads again the
rooms where last he had walked with her. "Jolly little Essie's room"
this was to have been.... This was where he would write.... This
was where wouldn't she keep him quiet just! ... She sat there while
he told her...
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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