The Clean HeartHutchinson, A. S. M. (Arthur Stuart-Menteth)
Science
The Clean Heart
Hutchinson, A. S. M. (Arthur Stuart-Menteth)
Authors -- Fiction; Happiness -- Fiction
Now you shall picture this Mr. Wriford--thirty, youthful of face, not
bad-looking, clever, successful, one of the lucky ones--walking back
from Brida's little flat in Knightsbridge to the office of _The Week
Reviewed_ off Fleet Street, and as he walked, rehearsing every
passage of his own contribution to the interview that had just
passed, and as he rehearsed them, abusing himself in every line of
it. It was not where he had been rude or unkind to Brida that gave
him distress. There, on the contrary, he found brief gleams of
satisfaction. There he had held his own. It was where he had made a
fool of himself and exposed himself that gnawed him. It was where
she had laughed at him that he was stung. He made an effort to
distract his thoughts, to fix them on the work to which he was
proceeding, to attach them anywhere ("Anywhere, anywhere, any
infernal where!" cried Mr. Wriford to himself). Useless. They
rushed back. "From here to that pillar-box," cried Mr. Wriford
inwardly, "I'll fix on what I'm going to write in my first leader."
He was not ten steps in the direction when he was writhing again at
having made a fool of himself with Brida. It was always so in these
days. "I never exchange words with a soul," cried Mr. Wriford, "not
even with a cab-driver--" He was switched off on the word to
recollection of a fare-dispute with a cab-driver on the previous day.
He was plunged back into the humiliation he had suffered himself to
endure by not taking a strong line with the man. It had occupied
him, gnawing, gnawing at him right up to this afternoon with Brida,
when new mortification, new example of having been a weak fool, of
having been worsted in an encounter, had come to take its place.
So there was Mr. Wriford--one of the lucky ones--back with this old
gnawing again; and, realising the swift transition from one to the
other, able to complete his broken sentence with a bitter laugh at
himself for the instance that had come to illustrate it.
"I never exchange a word with a soul, not even with a cab-driver,"
cried Mr. Wriford, "but I show what a weak fool I am, and then brood
over it, brood over it, until the next thing comes along to take its
place!" Whereupon, and with which, another next thing came
immediately in further proof and in further assault upon the thin
film of Mr. Wriford's self-possession that was in these days left to
him. In form, this came, of a cyclist carrying a bundle of
newspapers upon his back and travelling at the hazard and speed and
with the dexterity that belong to his calling. Mr. Wriford stepped
off the pavement to cross the road, stepped in front of this
gentleman, caused him to execute a prodigious swerve to avoid
collision, ejaculated very genuinely a "Sorry--I'm awfully sorry,"
and was addressed in raucous bawl of obscene abuse that added new
terms to the names which, as he had told Brida, he often lay awake at
night and called himself.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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