The Clicking of CuthbertWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
The Clicking of Cuthbert
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Golf stories; Humorous stories
"Why, they looked in at the bar to have a refresher before starting for
the tenth," said the young man, his voice quivering, "and McTavish
suddenly discovered that there was a hole in his trouser-pocket and
sixpence had dropped out. He worried so frightfully about it that on
the second nine he couldn't do a thing right. Went completely off his
game and didn't win a hole."
The Sage shook his head gravely.
"If this is really going to be a lesson to you, my boy, never to bet on
the result of a golf-match, it will be a blessing in disguise. There is
no such thing as a certainty in golf. I wonder if I ever told you a
rather curious episode in the career of Vincent Jopp?"
"_The_ Vincent Jopp? The American multi-millionaire?"
"The same. You never knew he once came within an ace of winning the
American Amateur Championship, did you?"
"I never heard of his playing golf."
"He played for one season. After that he gave it up and has not touched
a club since. Ring the bell and get me a small lime-juice, and I will
tell you all."
* * * * *
It was long before your time (said the Oldest Member) that the events
which I am about to relate took place. I had just come down from
Cambridge, and was feeling particularly pleased with myself because I
had secured the job of private and confidential secretary to Vincent
Jopp, then a man in the early thirties, busy in laying the foundations
of his present remarkable fortune. He engaged me, and took me with him
to Chicago.
Jopp was, I think, the most extraordinary personality I have
encountered in a long and many-sided life. He was admirably equipped
for success in finance, having the steely eye and square jaw without
which it is hopeless for a man to enter that line of business. He
possessed also an overwhelming confidence in himself, and the ability
to switch a cigar from one corner of his mouth to the other without
wiggling his ears, which, as you know, is the stamp of the true Monarch
of the Money Market. He was the nearest approach to the financier on
the films, the fellow who makes his jaw-muscles jump when he is
telephoning, that I have ever seen.
Like all successful men, he was a man of method. He kept a pad on his
desk on which he would scribble down his appointments, and it was my
duty on entering the office each morning to take this pad and type its
contents neatly in a loose-leaved ledger. Usually, of course, these
entries referred to business appointments and deals which he was
contemplating, but one day I was interested to note, against the date
May 3rd, the entry:
"_Propose to Amelia_"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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