The Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce, Volume 10: The Opinionator — John Shaqi
The Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce, Volume 10: The OpinionatorBierce, Ambrose
General
The Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce, Volume 10: The Opinionator
Bierce, Ambrose
American essays; American literature
A peculiarity of American caricature is that few of its “masters”
know how to draw. They are like our great “humorists,” who are nearly
all men of little education and meagre reading. As soon as they have
prospered, got a little polish and some knowledge of books, they cease
to be “humorists.”
One of the most popular of the “cartoonists” knows so little of anatomy
that in most of his work the human arm is a fourth too short, and
seems to be rapidly dwindling to a pimple; and so little of perspective
that in a certain cartoon one of his figures was leaning indolently
against a column about ten feet from where he stood.
A fashion has recently come in among the comic artists of getting great
fun out of the lower forms of life. They have discovered and developed
a mine of humor in the beasts and the birds, the reptiles, fishes
and insects. Some of the things they make them say and do are really
amusing. But here is where they all go wrong and spoil their work: they
put upon these creatures some article of human attire—boots, a coat or
a hat. They make them carry umbrellas and walking-sticks. They put a
lightning rod on a bird’s nest, a latch on a squirrel-hole in a tree,
and supply a beehive with a stovepipe. Why? They don’t know why; they
have a vague feeling that incongruity is witty, or that to outfit an
animal with human appurtenances brings it, somehow, closer to one’s
bosom and business. The effect is otherwise.
When you have drawn your cow with a skirt she has not become a woman,
and is no longer a cow. She is nothing that a sane taste can feel an
interest in. An animal, or any living thing, in its natural state—is
always interesting. Some animals we know to have the sense of humor and
all probably have language; so in making them do and say funny things,
even if their speech has to be translated into ours, there is nothing
unnatural, incongruous or offensive. But a cat in a shirtwaist, a
rabbit with a gun—ah, me!
Obviously it is futile to say anything to those “dragons of the prime”
who draw the combination map-and-picture—the map whereon cities are
represented by clusters of buildings, each cluster extending half way
to the next. It would be useless to protest that these horrible things
are neither useful as maps nor pleasing as pictures. They are—well,
to put it quite plainly, they sicken. Sometimes the savages who draw
them sketch-in a regiment or so of soldiers—this in “war-maps” of
course—whose height is about five miles each, except that of the
commander, which is ten. And if there is a bit of sea the villain
who draws it will show us a ship two hundred miles long, commonly
sailing up hill or down. It is useless to remonstrate against this
kind of thing. The men guilty of it are little further advanced
intellectually than the worthy cave-dweller who has left us his
masterpieces scratched on rocks and the shoulder blades of victims of
his appetite—the illustrious inventor of the six-legged mammoth and the
feathered pig.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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