“Adam over heard it, and called the dox back and said: ‘On the contrary, you will be as long as I please.’ “Then the dox hoond it begun for to shrink at the equater and grow at the poles, and bime by it was as it is saw to-day, a towerin horizontle monument to the sin of dissobedience.” Mister Gipple he was a missionnary preacher in Madgigasker, and one time it was Sunday. Mister Gipple is a good man and he said he would go to church. So he went, and there was ten thousand hundred natif niggers, all worshipin a big wood idol, which was the ugliest thing he ever seen. Mister Gipple he was just a goin for to tell them it was wicked to worship sech a homely god, when he see his big yellow stump tail bull dog walk into the church and sit down longside the idol and look his worst. Then the king of the natif niggers he come over to Mister Gipple and nudged him and said: “See here, you ungrateful feller, I been mighty nice to you, and give you a dozen wives, and made you a duke, and let you wear a pecox feather, and havnt threw up your color to you, nor et you. But there cant be only but jest one religion here, and if you dont take that gum dasted god of yourn out of this diocese Ile cut his ears off!” I asked Uncle Ned why dogs has a tail, and he said, Uncle Ned did: “The first one, which was created in six days, hadnt one. It was a bull dog, like the one that Mister Gipple has told you of. One day Adam met the bull dog and said, mighty polite; ‘Good mornin.’ “The bull said: ‘Good mornin your self, I am glad to see you.’ “Adam said: ‘You dont look it, you are the maddest lookin feller which I ever met. Why dont you smile?’ “So the bull dog braced his self against a tree and drew a deep breathe and smiled. Johnny, if you have ever had the bad luck for to see a bull dog smile I neednt dwell on that painful perform. Adam he jumped back out of range and said: ‘Is that the best that you can do?’ “The bull he answered: ‘Yessir, but I could do better if I had more teeths.’ “Adam said: ‘I guess there aint any more.’ “Then he thought a while, and bime by said: ‘Ole man, if you will promise not to smile any more only but jest when you are furious mad I will give you some thing for to xpress your lighter emotions with and draw the observers atention away from where you look like you have a grouch.’ “The dog said it was a whack and Adam give him a tail for to waggle when feelin good. But mostly man kind believes the tail is lying, and cuts it off.” Taggers is cats and birds is reptiles, but the dog is a manual and brings forth his young alive. THE PIG