S. H.—It’s all right. I at once summoned the other Ambassadors (except the Russian and the Japanese) and told them that you had made the most forcible representations to the Chinese Empress regarding her Majesty’s breaches—— THE P.—Her what? You said _that_? S. H.—Of neutrality. They were greatly impressed. THE P.—What did they say? S. H.—What could they say? They bowed and went out, one by one, leaving the door open. The Open Door is what we stand for. It is all over. THE P.—Except the shouting. S. H.—Secretary Loeb will see to that. He has prepared a statement of the incident for the press. [_Tumult within—cheers and fishhorns._] THE P.—What’s that? S. H.—The shouting. A SUCKED ORANGE _The President._ _Root, Secretary of State._ ROOT: O world-power President, strenuous, mighty-mouthed, audible, able, Director of destiny, _arbiter morum_, compeller of princes, Why this dejected demeanor, this sighing that signifies something Gone wrong with the organ wherewith you were happy aforetime? O, keep me No longer a-guessing: divulge to your faithful Elihu the hidden Vermicular monster that gnaws at the core of the executive bosom— Nay, feeds on the damask of that which mainly attests your distinction. PRESIDENT: Alas, ’tis no worm that is secretly plying the hardy incision; From troubles intestinal I and my country have present exemption— Albeit the Democrats, turbulent ever and always disloyal, Continue to shout of political contributions, demanding A needless accounting, and some hint at restitution. My sorrow Has better foundation. King Edward of England has joined the Mikado In making a shameless alliance to tighten their grip upon Asia! ROOT: Why, surely, my master, we have the advantage: this compact secures us Continuous peace in the Orient, gives us the door that is open. Prevents the partition of China—in brief it establishes firmly All that my great predecessor (_aside_) (whom the Angel of Death, in his wisdom, Removed from my path to the White House) (_aloud_) so gallantly strove to accomplish. PRESIDENT: What’s that got to do with it, idiot? A broad-minded statesman (behold him!) O’erlooks, like a man on a stepladder, trivial and transient advantage, Discerning the meaning and menace of methods that mark the achievement. Not once in all the proceedings that led to this hardy alliance Was uttered, or written, or thought of, the name of Theodore Roosevelt! [_Exit._] ROOT (_solus_):