The collected works of William Hazlitt, Vol. 07 (of 12)Hazlitt, William
General
The collected works of William Hazlitt, Vol. 07 (of 12)
Hazlitt, William
English essays -- 19th century
There were honorary members, lay-brothers. Wit and
good fellowship was the motto inscribed over the door. When a stranger
came in, it was not asked, ‘Has he written any thing?’—we were above
that pedantry; but we waited to see what he could do. If he could take a
hand at piquet, he was welcome to sit down. If a person liked any thing,
if he took snuff heartily, it was sufficient. He would understand, by
analogy, the pungency of other things, besides Irish blackguard, or
Scotch rappee. A character was good any where, in a room or on paper.
But we abhorred insipidity, affectation, and fine gentlemen. There was
one of our party who never failed to mark ‘two for his Nob’ at cribbage,
and he was thought no mean person. This was Ned P——, and a better fellow
in his way breathes not. There was ——, who asserted some incredible
matter of fact as a likely paradox, and settled all controversies by an
_ipse dixit_, a _fiat_ of his will, hammering out many a hard theory on
the anvil of his brain—the Baron Munchausen of politics and practical
philosophy:—there was Captain ——, who had you at an advantage by never
understanding you:—there was Jem White, the author of Falstaff’s
Letters, who the other day left this dull world to go in search of more
kindred spirits, ‘turning like the latter end of a lover’s lute:’—there
was A——, who sometimes dropped in, the Will Honeycomb of our set—and
Mrs. R——, who being of a quiet turn, loved to hear a noisy debate. An
utterly uninformed person might have supposed this a scene of vulgar
confusion and uproar. While the most critical question was pending,
while the most difficult problem in philosophy was solving, P—— cried
out, ‘That’s game,’ and M. B. muttered a quotation over the last remains
of a veal-pie at a side-table. Once, and once only, the literary
interest overcame the general. For C—— was riding the high German horse,
and demonstrating the Categories of the Transcendental philosophy to the
author of the Road to Ruin; who insisted on his knowledge of German, and
German metaphysics, having read the _Critique of Pure Reason_ in the
original. ‘My dear Mr. Holcroft,’ said C——, in a tone of infinitely
provoking conciliation, ‘you really put me in mind of a sweet pretty
German girl, about fifteen, that I met with in the Hartz forest in
Germany—and who one day, as I was reading the Limits of the Knowable and
the Unknowable, the profoundest of all his works, with great attention,
came behind my chair, and leaning over, said, What, _you_ read Kant?
Why, _I_ that am German born, don’t understand him!’ This was too much
to bear, and Holcroft, starting up, called out in no measured tone, ‘Mr.
C——, you are the most eloquent man I ever met with, and the most
troublesome with your eloquence!’ P—— held the cribbage-peg that was to
mark him game, suspended in his hand; and the whist table was silent for
a moment. I saw Holcroft down stairs, and, on coming to the
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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