_Prof. K._: Good-morning. I am interested in getting your opinion of a set of Whitman, bound in green cloth or morocco at your option. May I show you— _Fisherman_: No, ye can’t. I don’t take no interest in politics. _Prof. K._: Then perhaps I could get your opinion of a line of haberdashery I carry. My own necktie, or scarf, if you prefer that term, is an example. Do you like it? _Fisherman_: Can’t say as I don’t: can’t say as I do. _Prof. K._: It would become you better than it does me. Let me exchange it with you for some bait. I observe that you keep your clams for bait in those funny-looking little red glass boxes, yonder. I will give you my necktie for the clams, but I shall have to ask for the boxes also, since the nude clams would soil my pockets. _Fisherman_: No. Them glass boxes was left to me by my grandmother and I wun’t throw ’em in with no clams. _Prof. K._: As you will. But how am I to carry the clams unless I have the boxes? Ah! I have it! I will borrow them of you and return them by a messenger from my hotel. _Fisherman_: How do I know ye will? _Prof. K._: I will leave my hat, coat, and trousers as security. [_He removes them as he speaks, and ties the scarf about the Fisherman’s throat._] There, look in the cheval glass and see how vastly it improves you. I will return the glass boxes by the messenger and you will kindly give him my clothes. Au revoir! [_He takes the comfit boxes upon his back and instantly swims with them to the mainland._]† ———— † It was by following these hints that the Rockfund collection of _petiteries_ was largely made. Collectors will do well to wear several suits of clothes. ———— THE SECRET OF SUCCESS By MURGATROYD ELPHINSTONE ———— [Illustration] THE SECRET OF SUCCESS BY MURGATROYD ELPHINSTONE, A.B., A.M., F.R.F.H.A. (_Lecturer on Scrollwork and Frets at Sinsabaugh University_, 1917–18)