The collector's whatnot : $b a compendium, manual, and syllabus of information and advice on all subjects appertaining to the collection of antiques, both ancient and not so ancientTarkington, Booth
General
The collector's whatnot : $b a compendium, manual, and syllabus of information and advice on all subjects appertaining to the collection of antiques, both ancient and not so ancient
Tarkington, Booth
Antiques -- Humor
This purchase also caused me a large amount of worry; for Mr.
Whipplefish, not being so young as he once was, fell downstairs several
times during the half-case period, and led some people to think that he
might die of over-exertion. In fact, he was found in a rigid state by
neighbors two or three times before the six bottles were gone, and was
thought to be dead; but each time he proved merely to be ossified, and
came back to life before the undertaker arrived.
My feelings may well be imagined during this trying time. Since there
were several things which I still wished to remove from the Whipplefish
house, my anxiety over his condition was naturally tremendous. It
affected me to such an extent that my hand slipped on one occasion when
I was mixing a batch of gin, and I got in twice as much essence as I
should. I was forced to throw away an entire quart of alcohol.
Eventually Mr. Whipplefish finished the six bottles without succumbing;
and after allowing him several days in which to recover, I returned to
the chase. He was, of course, very glad to see me, and did not demur
at all when I gave him two bottles and removed the big brick fireplace
with its quaint brick oven from the kitchen. I could easily get five
hundred dollars for this fireplace if I wished to take the money; but
I put Art above Commercialism, like every true lover of the Beautiful.
I shall always keep this quaint and hospitable hearth, unless somebody
offers me so much money that I cannot refuse.
My final purchase from Mr. Whipplefish and the celebrated old
Whipplefish house was made on July 14th. I remember the day very well,
for it is the anniversary of the fall of the Bastille. Hereafter the
date will always be associated in my mind with two falls.
Early on the morning of that day I called on Mr. Whipplefish and found
him shaking all over. His first question was, “Got any gin?” I at once
realized that the time was ripe to get the magnificent hand-hewn oak
beams in the kitchen—beautiful things that I had coveted ever since I
started coming to the house. Mr. Whipplefish was wholly reckless at
that time, and insisted on a higher price than I cared to pay; but the
beams were such rare and delightful pieces that I threw caution to the
winds. Mr. Whipplefish, with his Yankee cunning gleaming in his little
blue eyes, insisted on an entire case of gin in return for these beams.
And I—I paid it. It may have been foolish of me to do so; but the lure
of the antique, which no true collector can resist, led me on. I gave
him the case for which he asked. Then I took out the beams.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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