The collector's whatnot : $b a compendium, manual, and syllabus of information and advice on all subjects appertaining to the collection of antiques, both ancient and not so ancientTarkington, Booth
General
The collector's whatnot : $b a compendium, manual, and syllabus of information and advice on all subjects appertaining to the collection of antiques, both ancient and not so ancient
Tarkington, Booth
Antiques -- Humor
He was dumbfounded. “But I miss everything to which I have been
heretofore accustomed!” he cried, with charming naïvete. “In my
master’s rooms were my favorite claw and ball feet, my inlaid knees,
my carved knees, _all_ my knees of curly maple and walnut! Here
were my bottle drawers, my swell fronts, my double-swell fronts, my
Jacob’s-ladder fronts, my serpentine fronts—all the fronts I had! I
wish my fronts and knees put back the way they were. I won’t have my
master’s rooms as empty as this!”
“This is how they are to be, however,” I made retort serenely. “There
is no alternative.”
“What!” he exclaimed, and his face became seriously empurpled. “You
mean to say I have no control over my own master’s rooms? I want all my
bibelots and _petiteries_ back where I put them, myself. My master’s
rooms are my _own_ master’s rooms, and not yours, are they not, pray?”
“My dear General,” I replied, “I know what your master’s rooms should
be and you do not. You do not see beauty in them now—perhaps you will
not to-morrow—but wait! Within a week or ten days you will begin to
feel the restful harmony I have put into them and you will be grateful.”
“I won’t! I won’t! I won’t!” he said, stamping his foot pettishly. “I
want my bow-backs and my fan-backs back where they were, and I’m sorry
I ever put my master’s rooms into your hands! I do just wish I’d never
seen you at all, Madame Thomas!”
It was then that I perceived I must use diplomacy, and I admit that if
I had not been conscious of wearing a becoming hat, I might have lacked
the courage. I put my hand lightly on his arm and looked full into
his reddened eyes. “General,” I said softly, “I have labored hard over
your master’s rooms. Surely, _mon Général_, you would not have my task
undone!” Then, seeing that he began to melt, I drew a little closer to
him; and he set his manly brown paw over my slender fingers, smiled
at me, and coughed. I comprehended that the moment had come to use my
utmost diplomacy.
“Oo drate bid naughty handsome mans!” I said playfully. “If I had a dun
I’d shoot oo, bang!”
It is perhaps scarcely necessary to add that his master’s rooms
remained as I had done them, and that the dear old General and I are
still the best of friends.
* * * * *
And now a few “Don’ts,” as I call my little inhibitions. Some of them
are culled from my own experience and are rather technical, being
intended for the use of the beginning professional decorator, who is
but too prone to find her path not always strewn with roses, by any
means. Others of these little “Don’ts” of mine are for the guidance of
those who, unable to afford the counsel of established experts, must
fall back upon their own taste and what they may be able to cull from
tomes upon the subject. But let us see for ourselves what my “Don’ts”
portend!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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