In a few years her classmates began to fear her, even the teachers
often gave way to her, for she had her father's violent character
and brooked no restraint. She never wept nor complained, but she was
ever ready to avenge her wrongs with her fists, irrespective of what
might happen to her. At the same time she was always one of the
brightest scholars in her class.
All sincerely disliked her, but had to grant her supremacy. She
herself became conscious of her superiority over the throng of her
classmates, who treated her with aloofness, laughed at her shabby
dresses and shoes, and barred her from all intimacy with them. Later
she paid them back with unrelenting vengeance.
There were times when Orlowski was proud of Janina and warmly
defended her before his friends, for the whole neighborhood was
shocked at her tomboyish adventures. She would tramp through the
woods late at night and in all kinds of weather, alone, like a young
wild-boar separated from the herd. She was not a bit ashamed of
climbing up trees for birds' nests, nor of riding astride in
horse-races with the peasant lads on the pasturage. To avoid her
father she would stay away from home for whole days at a time,
dreaming of her return to school, while at school she would again
dream of returning to the solitude of her home.
Such was Janina up to about the eighteenth year of her life when she
graduated from high school and returned home for good. In her
outward life she quieted down, but inwardly she became even more
restless than before.
With her friend, Helen Walder, ideally beautiful and day dreaming of
the emancipation of woman, she had parted. Helen went to Paris to
study science. Janina had no desire to go, for she didn't feel the
need of any knowledge of an abstract nature. She yearned for
something that would exert a more potent influence upon her
temperament something that would absorb her whole being for all
time.
Men, Janina avoided almost entirely, for they angered her with their
impudence; the women bored her with their everlasting repetition of
gossip, troubles, and intrigues. People in general seemed to keep
aloof from her. All sorts of stories about her, more or less false,
were circulated in the neighborhood.
She was a puzzle to all who knew her. Meanwhile, in her own soul she
was waging a battle with her desires, to which she knew not how to
give a definite form. She asked herself why she lived. She buried
herself in books, but found no comfort there. She felt that she must
find something that would absorb and thrill her entire being, felt
that she would find it sooner or later, but in the meanwhile the
agony of waiting almost drove her mad.
Zielenkiewicz, the owner of a heavily mortgaged village, proposed to
her. Janina laughed outright at him and told him to his face that
she did not intend to pay his debts with her dower.
She had reached her twenty-first year and was beginning to lose
patience, when a commonplace occurrence decided her whole future.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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