Orlowski loved his daughter with hatred, that is, he loved her
because he hated her. He hated her because she was the daughter of
his wife, whose memory he violently cursed--his wife, who after two
years of conjugal life, left him, because she could no longer endure
his tyranny and eccentricities. He brought legal action against her
and tried to force her to return to him, but their separation became
a permanent one. He raved with anger, but his relentlessness,
unexampled stubbornness, and insane pride prevented him from begging
his wife to return, which she might have done, for she was a good
woman. Her only failing was an illness that baffled all the
provincial doctors. She had the soul of a mimosa, so sensitive that
every tear, pain, or grief would cast her into despair. Moreover she
had an abnormal fear of thunderstorms, showers, frogs, dark rooms,
unlucky numbers, and all loud sounds; so this husband of hers was
killing her with his brutality.
Within a few years after their separation she died of nervous
prostration, leaving Janina, who was then ten years old. Orlowski
immediately took her away from his wife's family by force.
An additional reason for his hatred of Janina was because she
happened to be a girl. With his wild and violent disposition he
wanted a son on whom he could exercise not only his fists, but also
his everyday humor. He had dreamed of a son and fancied that he
would be a big and half-wild fellow, energetic and as strong as an
oak.
He immediately sent Janina to a boarding-school, seeing her only
once a year during her vacation. She spent the Christmas and Easter
holidays at her aunt's home.
For these vacations, which were now in their third year, he would
wait impatiently, for he was weary of being alone at his remote
station. And as soon as Janina arrived hostilities between them
would begin.
Janina grew up rapidly, and her mental and physical development were
of the best, but having been conceived, born, and reared in an
environment of continual hatred and quarrels and nursed with the
tears and complaints of her mother at her father's brutality, she
naturally disliked him and feared his scorn. This developed in her
secretiveness and resentment. She rebelled against his despotism and
niggardliness.
Janina inherited a few thousand rubles from her mother, and her
father told her plainly that the interest on that sum would have to
suffice her, for he did not intend to give her a single kopeck. She
attended a first-class boarding-school, but after paying her fees
and, later, her expenses at the academy she had so little left for
her immediate needs that she had to continually think of how to make
ends meet and to feel ashamed because of her worn shoes and dresses.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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