The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
Such was the misery of the inhabitants, that they published a pamphlet
called "The Groans of the Britons" (a.d. 441), in which they invited
Ætius, the Roman consul, to come over and turn out the barbarians,
between whom and the sea, the islanders were tossed like a shuttlecock
knocked about by a pair of battledores. Ætius, in consequence of
previous engagements with Attila and others, was compelled to decline
the invitation, and the Britons therefore had a series of routs, which
were unattended by the Roman cohorts.
The southern part of the island was now torn between a Roman faction
under Aurelius Ambrosius, and a British or "country party," at the head
of which was Vortigern. The latter is said to have called in the Saxons;
and it is certain that (a.d. 449) he hailed the two brothers Hengist
and Horsa, * who were cruising as Saxon pirates in the British Channel.
These individuals being ready for any desperate job, accepted the
invitation of Vortigern, to pass some time with him in the Isle of
Thanet. They were received as guests by the people of Sandwich, who
would as soon have thought of quarrelling with their bread and butter as
with the friends of the gallant Vortigern. From this date commences the
Saxon period of the history of Britain.
* Horen, means a horse; and the white horse, even now,
appears as the ensign of Kent, as it once did on the shield
of the Saxons. It is probable that when Horsa came to
London, he may have put up somewhere near the present site
of the White Horse Cellar. Vide "Palgrave's Rise and
Progress of the English Commonwealth."
CHAPTER THE THIRD. THE SAXONS--THE HEPTARCHY.
In obedience to custom, the etymologists have been busy with the word
Saxon, which they have derived from _seax_, a sword, and we are left to
draw the inference that the Saxons were very sharp blades; a presumption
that is fully sustained by their fierce and warlike character. Their
chief weapons were a battleaxe and a hammer, in the use of which they
were so adroit that they could always hit the right nail upon the head,
when occasion required. Their shipping had been formerly exceedingly
crazy, and indeed the crews must have been crazy to have trusted
themselves in such fragile vessels. The bottoms of the boats were of
very light timber, and the sides consisted of wicker, so that the fleet
must have combined the strength of the washing-tub with the elegant
lightness of the clothes' basket. Like their neighbours the wise men of
Gotham, or Gotha, who went to sea in a bowl, the Saxons had not scrupled
to commit themselves to the mercy of the waves, in these unsubstantial
cockle-shells. The boatbuilders, however, soon took rapid strides, and
improved their craft by mechanical cunning.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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