The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
Another fog now comes over the historian, but the gas of sagacity is
very useful in dispelling the clouds of obscurity. It is said that
Hengist gave an evening party to Vortigern, who fell in love with
Bowena, the daughter of his host--a sad flirt, who, throwing herself
on her knee, presented the wine-cup to the king, wishing him, in a neat
speech, all health and happiness. Vortigern's head was completely turned
by the beauty of Miss Bowena Hengist, and the strength of the beverage
she had so bewitchingly offered him.
[Illustration: 040]
A story is also told of a Saxon _soirée_ having been given by Hengist
to the Britons, to which the host and his countrymen came, with short
swords or knives concealed in their hose, and at a given signal drew
their weapons upon their unsuspecting guests. Many historians have
doubted this dreadful tale, and it certainly is scarcely credible that
the Saxons should have been able to conceal in their stockings the short
swords or carving-knives, which must have been very inconvenient to
their calves. Stonehenge is the place at which this cruel act of the
hard-hearted and stony Hengist is reported to have occurred; and as
antiquarians are always more particular about dates when they are most
likely to be wrong, the 1st of May has been fixed upon as the very day
on which this horrible _réunion_ was given. It has been alleged, that
Vortigern, in order to marry Bowena, settled Kent upon Hengist; but it
is much more probable that Hengist settled himself upon Kent without the
intervention of any formality.
It is certain that he became King of the County, to which he affixed
Middlesex, Essex, and a part of Surrey; so that, as sovereigns went in
those early days, he could scarcely be called a petty potentate. The
success of Hengist induced several of his countrymen, after his death,
to attempt to walk in his shoes; but it has been well and wisely said,
that in following the footsteps of a great man an equally capacious
understanding is requisite.
The Saxons who tried this experiment were divided into Saxons proper,
Angles, and Jutes, who all passed under the common appellation of Angles
and Saxons. The word Angles was peculiarly appropriate to a people so
naturally sharp, and the whole science of mathematics can give us no
angles so acute as those who figured in the early pages of our history.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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