The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
The trading classes were not so easily robbed, for when the king began
to deal with them in his own peculiar fashion, he found them rather
awkward customers. Some wool had been prepared for shipping by the
London merchants, when the king's agents came woolgathering to
the wharfs, and carried it off with a high hand for the use of the
sovereign. It is true they promised to pay, and ordered the owners to
put it down to the bill; but the traders determined that they could not
do business in that manner. They were joined by some of the nobles, and
among others by Hereford, the constable, and Norfolk, the marshal of
England, who had a joint audience of his majesty, who threatened to hang
them if they did not do his bidding. "I will neither do so, nor hang,
sir king," was Norfolk's reply, in which Hereford acquiesced; so that it
was evident Edward could neither trample on the marshal, nor any longer
overrun the constable. Thirty bannerets and fifteen hundred gentlemen
whom the king had dubbed knights joined the two nobles in their refusal
to dub up, * and Edward was left almost alone. In this dilemma he
appealed to the people by the old trick of an effective speech,
interlarded with those clap-traps which he knew so well how to employ.
He caused a platform to be erected at the door of Westminster Hall,
and appeared upon it, supported by his son Edward, the Archbishop of
Canterbury, and the Earl of Warwick. Like the schoolmaster who never
administered a flogging without saying it hurt him a great deal more
than the boy, the king told the people that it was more grievous to him
to exact taxes from his dear people than it could be to them to bear the
burden. "I am going," he exclaimed, "to expose myself to all the dangers
of war for your sakes," and here he pulled out his pocket-handkerchief,
behind which he winked at the Archbishop of Canterbury, who thrust his
tongue into his cheek to show the prelate's relish for his master's
hypocrisy.
* Heming.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account