The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
Edward at last opened his mind--a very small recess--to Lord Montacute.
A Parliament was being held at Nottingham, where Mortimer and the queen
had lodgings in the castle, while the bishops and barons took apartments
in the town and suburbs. How to get hold of Mortimer was the great
difficulty, for Queen Isabella had the keys of the castle brought up
to her every evening, and placed at her bedside. * Her majesty had gone
round as usual to see everything safe, and all the candles out; but of
course, like other sagacious people, who examine minutely the fastenings
of the doors, she never gave a thought to the cellars. Through one of
these the governor (who, like all the great officers of that period--the
founders of our illustrious families--was a sneaking knave, ready to do
anything for money) admitted Montacute and his followers. They crawled
along a dark passage, at the end of which they were met by Edward,
who conducted them up a staircase into a room adjoining his mother's
chamber. The queen had gone to bed, but Mortimer, the Bishop of Lincoln,
and one or two others, were sitting--probably over their grog--in an
apartment close at hand. Their language had all the earnestness that
might be expected from the time of night, and the manner in which they
were occupied. They were, in fact, all talking at once, when Montacute
and party rushed in, knocking down two knights * who sat near the door,
and seized Mortimer, in spite of the entreaties of Isabella, who ran
screaming out of bed on hearing the noise and confusion.
* Homing, Knyght, Holinshed.
The favourite was dragged off to the nearest station-house, and Edward
issued a proclamation the next morning, announcing his intention to try
his own hand at government forthwith. A Parliament met at Westminster on
the 26th of November, 1330, by which Mortimer was tried and condemned,
though a short time before he enjoyed the command of a large majority.
The favourite had, however, fallen into disgrace, and the old proverb,
"Give a dog a bad name and hang him," was literally realised.
After the death of Mortimer, Queen Isabella was shut up in a place
called the Castle of Risings, on a pension of three thousand a year,
according to one historian, four thousand according to others, while
Rapin unceremoniously cuts her down to the paltry pittance of five
hundred per annum. It is probable that the last named sum is the nearest
the mark, for all agree in saying that "she lived a miserable monument
of blighted ambition," and it is obvious that a miserable monument would
not require an outlay of three or four thousand a year to keep it in
condition during an existence of rather better than a quarter of a
century.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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