The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
Though Edward had agreed to a truce with the Scotch, he did not scruple
to take a favourable opportunity of breaking it. Though his sister was
married to little Master David Bruce, the nominal king, Edward did not
hesitate to turn that young gentleman off the throne, to make way for
his creature, Edward Baliol. Young David was sent to France, while
Baliol kept up a kind of semblance of royalty, but his rebellious
subjects took every opportunity, when the backs of the English were
turned, to fall upon and baste the bewildered Baliol. Edward was soon
compelled to leave his vassal to get on as he could, for the entire
throne of France appeared to be open to the ambition of the English
sovereign. The French crown seemed to be "open to all parties and
influenced by none," when Edward of England and Philip of Valois became
candidates for the vacancy. The former claimed as grandson of Philip
the Fourth, the latter as grandson of Philip the Third, and each party
endeavoured to complicate the matter as much as he could by producing
a number of perplexing and unintelligible pedigrees. Philip claimed
through his grandfather, who was thought to be a sure card for the
French king to depend upon; but Edward tried to play something stronger,
in the shape of what he affectionately called that "fine old trump his
mother." She, however, was objected to as a female, and the question
was, to save further trouble, referred to the arbitration of the peers
and judges of France, and was decided in favour of Edward's opponent.
The English king declared the French judges were no judges at all, and
refused to be bound by the award; for it was the royal practice of those
days to abide by an agreement only so long as might be convenient.
Edward having appointed the Earl of Brabant his agent, coolly demanded,
through that individual, the French crown. The English seconded their
sovereign in his preposterous request, and he took advantage of their
acquiescence to squeeze out of them all he could in the shape of
subsidies, tallages, and forced loans. He raised money by the most
disgraceful means, and even pawned the crown with the Archbishop of
Treves, who after trying the purity of the gold with the usual test,
unpicking the velvet cap, to examine the setting of the jewels, and
submitting it to as many indignities as a hat in the hands of an old
clothesman, consented to lend about one tenth of its value on the
degraded diadem.
[Illustration:193]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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