The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
The conversation between the parties, though it has not been
authentically handed down by the chroniclers, may be very easily
imagined. It is probable that Edward, forgetting the dignity of the
king in the meanness of the borrower, may have familiarly asked the
Archbishop to "make it a trifle more" than the sum at first offered. It
may be presumed that the greedy ecclesiastic would have objected that
the crown had been very ill-used; that it got badly treated in the time
of John, and that even Edward himself had had a good deal of hard wear
out of it, which had rubbed off very much of its pristine brilliancy.
But it was not to the comparatively honest expedient of pawning his
own property that the king had recourse, for replenishing his exhausted
treasury. When he had got all he could by pledging his own honours, and
deposited the sceptre and single ball at the sign of the three, he began
the old royal trick of plundering his people.
From the inhabitants of Cornwall Edward took nearly all their tin, and
every part of England allowed itself to be fleeced for the purpose of
affording one man the means of attempting to gratify his ambition at the
expense of an entire people. The money thus obtained was devoted to the
payment of foreign mercenaries, so that he robbed his own subjects
for the double purpose of corruption and usurpation. To enable him
to oppress the French, he bribed the Germans with money obtained by
plundering the English.
He sailed on the 15th of July, 1338, with an army rather more select
than numerous, and landed at Antwerp, where he had secured himself
a friendly reception by sending emissaries before him to marshal the
peasantry into enthusiastic groups, and "get up" the spectacle without
regard to outlay. The burghers were called to numerous rehearsals before
the appointed day, and on the arrival of the English king they were
tolerably perfect in the parts assigned to them.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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