The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
At nine o'clock the king entered the Abbey, in the middle of which a
platform, covered with scarlet cloth, had been erected; so that the
proceedings might be visible from all corners of the Abbey. He seated
himself on the throne, and was looking remarkably well, being in full
regal costume, with the exception of the crown, which the Archbishop
of Canterbury proposed to invest him with. The people, on being asked
whether the ceremony should be performed, of course shouted "Aye,"
for they had come to see a coronation and were not likely to
deprive themselves of the spectacle by becoming, at the last moment,
hypercritical of the new king's merits. We cannot say we positively know
there was no "No," but the "Ayes" unquestionably had it; and Henry was
at once taken off the throne to be stripped to his shirt, which, in
the middle of the month of October, could not have been very agreeable
treatment. After saturating him in oil, they put upon his head a bonnet,
and then proceeded to dress him up as a priest, adding a pair of spurs
and the sword of justice. While his majesty was in this motley costume,
the Archbishop of Canterbury, clutching off the bonnet from the royal
head, placed upon it the crown of Saint Edward.
[Illustration: 242]
Henry was not sorry when these harassing ceremonies were at an end, and
having left the Abbey to dress, returned to the Hall to dinner. Wine
continued to play, like ginger-beer, from the fountain; but the jets
were of the same paltry description as that which throws up about a
pint a day in the Temple. We confess that we are extremely sceptical in
reference to all allegations of wine having been laid on in the public
streets, particularly in those days, when there were neither turncocks
to turn it on, nor pipes through which to carry it. Even with our
present admirable system of waterworks, we should be astonished at an
arrangement that would allow us to draw our wine from the wood in the
pavement of Cheapside, or take it fresh from the pipe as it rolled with
all its might through the main of the New River. Whether the liquid
could be really laid on may be doubtful, but that it would not be
worth drinking cannot admit of a question. Under the most favourable
circumstances, our metropolitan fountains could only be made to run
with that negative stuff to which the name of negus has been most
appropriately given. Let us, however, resume our account of the
ceremonial, from which, with our heads full of the wine sprinkled
gratuitously over the people, we have been led to deviate.
[Illustration: 245]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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