The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
to put that on? I think you might have left it alone till I've done with
it!"
[Illustration: 256]
The prince muttered some excuse, which was not long needed, for on the
23rd of March, 1413, Henry the Fourth died, in the forty-seventh year
of his age, and the fourteenth of his reign. The character of Henry
the Fourth may be told in a few words, and the fewer the better for
his reputation, inasmuch as it is impossible to furnish him with that
passport to posterity with which it would give us pleasure to present
the whole of our English sovereigns. Other historians have puffed him,
but the only puffing we can promise him is a regular blowing up. He was
cautious how he gave offence to his subjects, but this was less out
of regard to their interests than care for his own. He knew that the
hostility existing towards him among the nobles, on account of his
usurpation, could only be counteracted by obtaining the support of the
people. He therefore refrained from irritating the latter by taxing them
heavily for his wars, but he never scrupled to help himself to the goods
of the former whenever his exigencies required. The only difference
between him and some of his predecessors in the practice of extortion
and robbery, is in the fact that while others plundered principally the
people, Henry the Fourth thought it better worth his while to plunder
the nobles. Some of our predecessors have praised his prudence, which
was unquestionably great; for never was a king more cunning in his
attempts to preserve the crown he had unjustly acquired. He was not
wantonly barbarous in the treatment of his enemies when he got them
into his power, and, in this respect, his conduct presents an honourable
contrast to that of the sanguinary monsters who committed the greatest
crimes to surmount the smallest obstacles. He did not seek to stop the
merest breath of disaffection by the most monstrous murders, nor to
rid himself of the annoyance of suspicion by incurring the guilt of
slaughtering the suspected. His treatment of his predecessor, Richard,
and one or two others, who are yet unaccounted for, and returned
"missing" in the balance-sheet of history, must always leave a blot, or,
rather, a shower of blots, throwing a piebald aspect upon the character
of Henry. Among the distinguished individuals who shed lustre on a reign
which derived no brilliance from the sovereign himself, are the poets
Chaucer and Gower, as well as William Wickham, and Richard Whittington,
the Lord Mayor of London. We have been at some pains to trace the story
of the latter, in the hope of being able to find accommodation for his
cat in the pages of history. We regret to say that our task has ended in
the melancholy conviction that the cat of Whittington must make one in
that imaginary family which comprises the puss in boots of the Marquis
of Carabas, the rats and lizards of Cinderella, and the chickens of
Mother Carey.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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