The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
In the first year of the new reign a commotion sprung up, which first
developed itself in a violent fit of seditious bill-sticking. In the
course of a night, some party succeeded in getting out an "effective
poster," announcing the readiness of "a hundred thousand men to assert
their right by force of arms, if needful." What those rights were the
placards did not state, and probably this would have been the very last
subject that the hundred thousand men would have proceeded to think
about. They were supposed to have been instigated by the Lollards, one
of whom, Sir John Oldcastle, their leader, was sent for by the king to
have a little talk, in the course of which the wrongs of the Lollards
might perchance be hit upon. Sir John Oldcastle, who was one of the old
school, found plenty to say, but he never could find anyone to listen
patiently to his rigmaroles. Henry the Fifth was obliged to cut the old
gentleman short by hinting that the statute _de heretico comburendo_ was
in force, and Sir John, who had been about to fire up, cooled down very
decidedly on hearing the allusion. Henry, finding nothing could be done
with Oldcastle, who was as sturdy and obstinate as his name would seem
to imply, turned him over to Archbishop Arundel. The prelate undertook
to bring Sir John to his senses, but the junction could not be effected,
for the objects were really too remote to be easily brought together.
A writ was issued, but Oldcastle kept the proper officer at bay, and
assailed him not only with obstructive missiles, but with derisive
ridicule. At length, a military force was sent out to take the Oldcastle
by storm, when Sir John unwillingly surrendered. Though taken, he
refused to be shaken in his obstinate resolves, and he pleaded two whole
days before his judges, in the hope of wearing them out and inducing
them to stay the proceedings, rather than subject themselves to
the fearful blow of his excessive long-windedness. He was, however,
condemned, but the king granted a respite of fifty days, during which
the old fellow either contrived or was allowed to escape from the Tower;
and the probability is, that the gaolers had instructions to wink, in
the event of his being seen to pass the portals of his prison.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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