The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
On the 15th of February, 1429, the Maid began her journey, in the course
of which her companions frequently came to the conclusion that she was
a humbug, and on arriving at a precipice they often threatened to throw
her over. At length, all difficulties being surmounted, she arrived at
Chinon, near Orleans, where Charles was residing. "I won't see her,"
cried the king, upon hearing she had come; "I am not going to be bored to
death by a female fanatic. A man who believes himself to be inspired
is bad enough, but there is not a greater plague on earth than a
woman-prophet." At length, after being pestered for three days, he
consented to grant an interview to Joan, who stood unabashed by the
sneers of the courtiers. Every word that flowed from her lips had the
effect of curling fluid on the lips of those who listened. Some would
have coughed her down, others began to crow over her, and the scene was
a good deal like the House of Commons during the speech of an unpopular
member, when Charles, who was a good deal struck by the assurance of the
Maid, took her aside to have a little quiet talk with her.
"Well, my good woman," he observed, "what is all this? Let me know your
views as briefly as possible." Joan explained that her views
consisted of magnificent visions, but Charles declared them to be
mere jack-o'-lanterns of the brain, which were not worth attending to.
Nevertheless, the earnestness of her manner had its effect, and the king
sent her to Poictiers, where there was a learned university, and, though
Joan was rather averse to the fellows, she allowed them to question her.
Some of them began to assail her with their ponderous learning, but she
cut them short by acknowledging that she did not know a great A or a
little a from a bouncing B. She declared herself, however, ready to
fight, and the learned men, who were not anxious for a contest with
the Maid in her own style, pronounced a favourable opinion on her
pretensions. To raise the siege of Orleans, and take the dauphin to be
crowned at Rheims, were the feats she undertook to perform. As one
trial would prove the fact, Charles consented to grant it. The soldiers,
however, refused to follow her until they had seen how she would manage
a horse, and they consequently all stood round her while she went
through a few scenes in the circle. One of them, who acted as a kind
of clown in the ring, put a lance into her hand, which she wielded with
great dexterity, while she was still in the performance of her rapid act
of horsemanship.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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