The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
Joan having passed her examination with success, was invested with the
rank of a general officer. In spite of her masculine undertaking, there
was still enough of the woman in her disposition to induce her to be
very particular in ordering her own armour and accoutrements. She had
herself measured for an entirely new suit of polished metal, her banner
was white, picked out with gold, and her horse was as white as milk
when properly chalked for metropolitan consumption. The Maid looked
exceedingly well when made up, and people flocked round her with intense
curiosity; for if even the man in brass at the Lord Mayor's Show will
attract a mob, a woman regularly blocked in by block tin was a novelty
that everyone would be sure to run after. Full of enthusiasm, she
started off to the relief of Orleans, and the garrison, encouraged
by her approach, sallied out upon the besiegers with unusual vigour,
exclaiming "The Maid is come!" and the result realised the old saying
that "where there's a will, there's a way," or in the Latin proverb,
_possunt_ (they can) _qui_ (who) _videntur_ (seem) _posse_ (to be able).
With the aid of the _posse comitatus_ the object was achieved, and it
may, perhaps, have happened that the superstitious fears of the English
had much to do with the result of the battle. They declared that she
was a witch, and some of them pretended to have seen her looking at them
with great saucer eyes, which was, in those days, a test of sorcery.
The sentinels at night got so nervous, that they used to be startled by
their own shadows in the moon, and would run away, declaring that they
were pursued by black figures stretched on the ground, from which there
was no escaping. Others declared the stars were all out of order, and
that they heard the band of Orion playing, out of tune, at midnight.
Some declared they had seen a horse galloping along the Milky Way, and
they inferred that Joan of Arc sent her steed along it at full speed to
keep up his milky whiteness.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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