The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
The character of this prince seems to have been as near perfection as
possible. His reputation as a sage has not been injured by time, nor has
the mist of ages obscured the brightness of his military glory. He was
a lover of literature, and a constant reader of every magazine of
knowledge that he could lay his hands upon. An anecdote is told of his
mother, Osburgha, having bought a book of Saxon poetry, illustrated
according to the taste of our own times, with numerous drawings. Alfred
and his brothers were all exclaiming, "Oh give it me!" with infantine
eagerness, when his parent hit on the expedient of promising that he who
could read it first should receive it as a present. Alfred, proceeding
on the modern principle of acquiring "Spanish without a Master," and
"French comparatively in no time," succeeded in picking up Anglo-Saxon
in six self-taught lessons. He accordingly won the book, which was, no
doubt, of a nature well calculated to "repay perusal."
Nor were war and literature the only pursuits in which Alfred indulged;
but he added the mechanical arts to his other accomplishments. The
sun-dial was probably known to Alfred; but that acute prince soon saw,
or, rather, found from not seeing, that a sun-dial in the dark was worse
than useless. Not content with being always alive to the time of day, he
became desirous of knowing the time of night, and used to burn candles
of a certain length with notches in them to mark the hours. * These
were indeed melting moments, but the wind often blew the candles out,
or caused them to burn irregularly. Sometimes they would get very long
wicks, and, if every one had gone to bed, no one being up to snuff,
might render the long wicks rather dangerous. In this dilemma he asked
himself what could be done, and his friend Asser, the monk, having
said half sportively, "Ah! you are on the horns of a dilemma," Alfred
enthusiastically replied, "I have it; yes; I will turn the horns to my
own advantage, and make a horn lanthorn." Thus, to make use of a figure
of a recent writer, Alfred never found himself in a difficulty without,
somehow or other, making light of it.
* The practice of telling the time by burning candles was
ingenious, but could not have been always convenient. It
must have been very awkward when a thief got into one of the
candles, thus exposing time to another thief besides
procrastination. After Alfred's invention of the lanthorn,
it might have been worn as a watch, in the same manner as
the modern policeman wears the bull's-eye.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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