The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
Charles, urged by the example of Joan, determined to do a little
soldiering himself, and had his armour taken out of his box, the rust
rubbed off, the shoulder-straps lengthened, the leggings let down, the
breastplate let out, and other alterations made, to adapt it to the
change in his figure since he had last worn his martial trappings.
Though he took the field, it was in the capacity of an amateur, for his
modesty--or some other feeling--kept him constantly in the background,
and after the battle of Patay, which was fought and won by the French,
the cries of "Where is Charles? What's become of the king?" were loud
and general. The Maid found him reposing on his laurels, or, rather,
under them, for he had concealed himself in a thick hedge of evergreens,
from which he declined to emerge until his question of "Is it all
right?" had received from Joan's lips a satisfactory answer. The
object of her visit was to persuade him to accompany her to Rheims, to
celebrate his coronation in the cathedral of that city. "It's not a bad
idea," said Charles, "but premature, I'm afraid, and so at present we
will not think of it." Joan would, however, take no refusal. On the 15th
of July, 1429, the French king made his solemn entrance into that city.
He was crowned two days after, and, though not one of the peers of
France were present at the ceremony, it went off with quite as much
spirit as anyone might venture to anticipate.
Philip, the Duke of Burgundy, declined an invitation from the Maid, who
pointed out to him the folly of fighting against his own king, when,
if he wanted war, the Turks were always ready to fight or be fought,
to have their heads cut off, or oblige anyone else by making the thing
reciprocal. The Duke of Burgundy still kept aloof, but Joan continued
to be successful without his assistance, and took several towns, chiefly
from the readiness with which they were given up to her. Many of the
people looked upon her as something preternatural, and they even fancied
her white banner was always surrounded by butterflies, though truth
compels us to state that these fancied butterflies were probably
harvest-bugs, which, at about the period of the year when the phenomenon
was supposed to have been seen, were most likely to be fluttering
blindly and blunderingly about the Maid's standard. Many of the French
officers, jealous of her success, attempted to malign her character.
No tiger could have stood up for his respectability more furiously than
Joan defended her reputation; and, indeed, she made so much fuss,
to vindicate her fair fame, that we might have suspected her of
impropriety, had not all the historians agreed in coming to an opposite
conclusion. It was evident that Joan, having made one or two lucky hits,
was anxious to back out before she damaged her reputation by failure.
When asked what she would do if allowed to retire, she declared she
would return and tend her sheep; nor did the cruel sarcasm of "Oh, yes,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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