The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
Though our business, as an historian, has taken us a good deal abroad,
we must now return home, lest, in our absence, the thread of our
narrative should have got into such a state of entanglement, as to
cause ourselves and our readers difficulty in the necessary process
of unravelling it. The 6th of November, 1429, was set apart for the
coronation of the baby king, at Westminster; and, in a spirit worthy of
the rising generation of the present day, his infant majesty insisted on
the abolition of the protectorship. The notion that he could take care
of himself had got possession of the royal mind; but the sequel of his
reign afforded bitter proof of the extent of the fallacy. In 1430, he
embarked for France, but the privy purse was again in such a disgraceful
state, that the king had not the means of paying for his journey. The
usual humiliating step was taken of sending the crown to the pawnbroker.
We may here take occasion to remark, that though we frequently hear of
the crown being put in pledge, we have no record of its being ever taken
regularly and honestly out again. There can be little doubt that the
people were unscrupulously taxed to rescue the regal diadem, which was
no sooner redeemed than royal extravagance, or necessity, placed it
again in its humiliating position. Had the same crown been transmitted
regularly from hand to hand--or, rather, from head to head--it would
have been perforated through and through by the multiplicity of tickets
that from time to time have been pinned on to it.
On this occasion, the jewels went to the pawnbroker's, as well as the
crown, so that the regalia were huddled together as if they had been
no better than a set of fire-irons. It is surprising, under all the
circumstances, that the sceptre never figured in the catalogue of a sale
of unredeemed pledges, and we cannot wonder that some of our sovereigns
have chosen to rule with a rod of iron, as a cheap and durable, but a
most disagreeable substitute. In addition to the means already alluded
to, for filling his purse, the young king hit upon another mode of
making money. Every one who was worth forty pounds a year, was forced
to take up the honour of knighthood, and made to pay exorbitant fees
for the undesired privilege. In this manner, many persons were dubbed
knights, for the express purpose of making them dub up; and there is
every reason to believe that the word "dub" has taken its meaning in
relation to pecuniary affairs, from the arbitrary practice we have
mentioned. Those illustrious families who trace their genealogy up to
some knight who flourished in the time of Henry the Sixth, will not,
perhaps, after this disclosure, be so very proud of their origin.
We have had in our own day one or two who have been dignified with
knighthood by mistake, instead of somebody else, but those who had
greatness thrust upon them only for the sake of the fees, were scarcely
less contemptible.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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